My boyfriend [M22] and I [F22] have recently started having sex, we use hotels. We were both virgins before meeting each other. Before meeting him I’ve used dildos before, however they were smaller than him. Whenever I’ve used my dildos I don’t require lube and I never feel any discomfort deep inside or around my opening ever. My 2 issues while having sex right now are vaginal opening pain and my clit not feeling good enough to cum unless it’s stimulated in specific ways. His issue is that penetrating my vagina doesn’t feel like much, and it’s difficult to cum from penetrating me from sensation alone. We’ve had sex 4 times now, and I think within the next month I’ll have it again with him, i want to try improving the next time. We have lots of love and trust for each other, we’re open about what’s going on with our bodies, we just don’t know what to do about it, and i have a bad habit of feeling burdensome. 🥲
My boyfriend is thick and around 6 inches (insertable) when we have sex we always use generous amounts of silicone based lube. but i’m getting frustrated because penetration with him ends up feeling like something i have to just bear with until he cums because my opening starts to hurt, it stings or sometimes feels sore, like it was beat up or something 😭. i always apply so much lube to the outside and inside, movement is never an issue for us. but the opening hurts after some time and I can never make it to round 2 with him. i really want to cum from penetration and rubbing my clit at the same time but the discomfort is so distracting i can’t focus on my pleasure at all. Sometimes he hits too deep but changing angles sometimes helps with this and it isn’t an issue.. What could this be? I don’t have this issue when he fingers me or when i finger myself or when I use my dildos. Could it be not enough foreplay? Do i need to somehow prep the opening or is he too big??
My clit also sometimes doesn’t even feel like anything unless i rub it a super particular way or if its sucked/licked on a certain super particular way too and it makes it hard for my boyfriend to make me cum through my clit.. and even myself when i’m with him!! The only way he can make me cum currently is eating me out from a 69 position where i’m on top.. 😭 i want to cum other ways too.. i also feel burdensome because making me cum takes effort.. i don’t want to bore him by taking so long or tire him out and frustrate the both of us.. but I can make him cum 3-4 times each time we have sex with my vagina and my mouth and my hands, i wish i could cum that many times too and as easily when we have sex together. 😞
I can cum easily by myself though. i just don’t get it i assume maybe it’s nerves..? not being in the right headspace?? is my vagina stupid?? 😭😭
For him, he has trouble feeling anything when he’s in my vagina, he says a lot of the times it feels like “nothing” and he can only cum from penetrating me from certain angles or if he’s “blue balled” beforehand. He feels bad about it because he knows he should be feeling good. I want to help him out too. We currently have to use condoms though.
TLDR: my vaginal opening hurts during sex and i can’t do round 2s even when i lube up properly, my clit is less responsive when im not by myself, and my boyfriend has trouble with sensation penetrating me. Is the solution more foreplay?
what should I or me and my boyfriend do next time? Thank you for any advice 🥲