Hi folks, this is my first time sharing living space with a friend instead of a stranger. My friend owns the house, and she is 10 years older than me. I had a lot of respect for her and was excited to rent directly from her when she offered, but I now realize that living with a friend can bring more difficulties.
My company offers a perk: if I work late, I get money to buy food/groceries. Since she knows about the perk, she often asks me to bring home things like eggs, salad, or deli food. I rarely ate those items myself because I often eat out, so she ended up consuming most of them. At first I didn’t mind because she’s been supportive and gives me a lot of advice, and I don’t really need the food.
Things started getting uncomfortable when she ate a dessert I had saved for myself. We argued, and eventually agreed that “whatever is in the fridge is for us both.” I rarely ate her food since I’m vegetarian and she isn’t. Most recently, I picked up a vegetable soup midweek, hoping to enjoy it over the weekend since I’m trying to eat out less, but she finished it before I could have any. That made me realize I’ve been too compliant and I need to change how I handle this.
I don’t think she’s a bad person — she’s been a good and supportive friend overall. But I don’t want things to get awkward since we’re still living together. To avoid conflict, I already lied once, saying I now spend the food money eating out with coworkers. I’m now also considering keeping a cooler in my car to store my own food instead of the shared fridge. (I worry that if I store food in the shared fridge, she’ll eat it before I do, since we agreed everything in there is for both of us.)
Am I wrong for lying to her and planning to secretly keep food for myself?