I’m 25m. I’ve been effectively single for three years since my fiancé of 8 years (we were high school sweethearts) cheated on me with her little sisters “boyfriend” (her sister was 16, the man was 32 and supplied both of them with coke. The police could not care less when I reported the inappropriate relationship before I had found out about the infidelity)
I’m just not sure what to do. I just cut contact with a woman I’d dated for two months because she wanted to clarify what our relationship was. She was smart, funny, and interested in commitment and starting a family which is all the things I also want, but I just felt nothing with her. I don’t hate myself like I did after the breakup, i’m open to the idea of allowing physical intimacy in my life again (I’ve only been with my ex fiancé sexually), I’m finally financially stable and am out of all my past debts, I’m about to finish the education I’ve spent the past 7 years paying for out of pocket for, and I really just want to start a family with someone I love but just can’t open myself up to being hurt again. I SHOULD be trying to reach for happiness and love but just won’t let myself. I feel broken. This is just me venting, I’ve thought about just becoming the forever single uncle to my sisters kids and to be a godfather to my friends future kids but I so want a family and woman to love and confide in of my own. Idk, I think I will get through this but it feels so hopeless rn…
4 comments
Hey bud,
I hear you. Count your blessings so many good things going for you.
Get yourself out there bud. Don’t focus on meeting someone for family. Focus on self – sounds like some healing is still ongoing. Go out and enjoy life – travel, make new friends , do more things from your bucket list, and meet people organically than dating apps. Things will turn around and also the right person won’t pass you by either!!
Good luck on the studies and getting rid of debts !! Thats amazing! Keep going- upwards and forwards.
Do some casual dating and have some fun with life too.. you will naturally emit for the right energy for a long term relationship once your mind shifts from this current feeling of being unloved etc..
Time heals everything!! Leave the past in past and move forward bud.. all the best !!
PS i had met really amazing people from the gym- one serious relationship from someone I met at my gym too (there’s a great way to talk to people get them comfortable enough if you havent already tried it)👍🏼
listen your doing the right thing by letting your emotions out. you are a good person who was stuck in a terrible situation. you are strong and you will make it thru. you will find someone to cherish u like u cherish those around u
If women are free to never love you for who you are, then you are free from wasting life trying to give them what they want
In a world where sex is handed out upfront, that becomes your advantage
Maybe if it bothered you that your long term ex didn’t take the commitment as a commitment, or at least not the same way you did, you would feel better and understand more by putting yourself in her shoes.