As a 29F – exploring dating world only since a couple years – I have noticed that despite getting a lot of matches on apps, which lead to great talking stages and dates, the guys pull the plug after 4-6 amazing dates! They show interest, plan dates, we have smooth conversations flowing, give me a lot of compliments, get romantic, I start showing interest and care, and then boom, they just decide to end. Some give me petty reasons, some just give vague reasons! My latest dating fail has left me utterly devastated, and was my last straw at hope. I deleted all my apps and am on detox. Even though I want a companion I am torn and have lost hope entirely at the same time.
Background: I am also an immigrant from India, having a good job, worked hard on my independent life, hobbies, joined gym, and have been focusing on my well-being overall. I believe I will always be a work-in-progress during all stages of my life and I think everyone else is too. I have been told by my friends and acquaintances from different ethnicities that they consider me much more than average not just based on my look, but also by my personality.
I dont chase people for their potential, but see them for who they are as a person, and if them being themself is a good addition to my life. I usually end up finding good people and decide if I want them long term by the end of the third date. I am willing to put in effort after I am sure of my own intentions! I have met some amazing people so far, but after I start showing interest, they withdraw. I don’t like playing games, or adopting dating strategies which seem manipulative and want my dates to know the real and raw version of me. They all seem to like it, but none decide to stay even if we get along really well. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I am from a different culture.
Is this just a part of dating, or is it the dating apps that show men other girls that may look more tempting and hence the breakup? Or Is there some introspection I need to do?! Could this just indicate that it’s not my time yet? Do people keep getting rejected a bunch before they actually find ‘the one’?