I feel like I used to be so funny. Constant stories and overall fun . But idk what happened I started not telling those stories anymore scared that it might seem childish ,like who says stories anymore,who acctually cares about my stories. till I start to not say any but rather just listen and laugh . This caused me to feel like people don't feel like it's fun to hangout with me anymore . I dont say stories because of fear of judgment and self consciousness. Iam not relaxed anymore,I can't casually bring up a story and stuff . And it's like those who became friends with me because they met my relaxed side are disappointed because its not present anymore . The minute the person because too close to me I start acting weird and not myself around them . I make alot of friends but can't keep them as close because I stop being myself and my funny and story telling side which makes them naturally bored of me . Idk what to do this has deeply affected me, I can't keep friends or the friends I keep don't find it fun to hang out around me . It's fear of abondemtnet I feel like if I do the wrong thing I will lose the person and in the process I lose them because iam not myself . Idk how to stop it or deal with it . I can be myself with strangers because I feel like I already have that safe friend group or safe area to go back to incase it doesn't work out so it's okay if I act weird and myself around people who are potential feinsds . But can't act normal infront of my friends because I fear that one wrong move and I will lose the safe space I have and end up lonely .