I’m in a tough spot and would really appreciate some advice from anyone who's been through something similar. I’ve been friends with this person since last year, but I’ve reached a point where I just don’t want to continue the friendship anymore.
When we first met, I genuinely enjoyed hanging out with her, but lately, she’s been really draining. The last time we spent time together, I felt dismissed and unimportant. She kept comparing our struggles in a way that felt belittling, ignored me at times, and was just generally rude. She repeats the same stories, the same way, every single time, and it's gotten exhausting.
I’m someone who speaks my mind, and I usually don’t shy away from calling out things that bother me. But with her, I’ve always held back, because she’s very sensitive. A few weeks ago, I told her I didn’t like something she said, and since then, she’s been upset with me—but instead of talking about it, she’s been making snarky, passive-aggressive comments.
She often tells us she loves us and thinks our friendship is forever. However, it never feels genuine—and if there’s one thing I really dislike, it’s dishonesty and being fake. She’s had some personal setbacks recently and told her parents that she’ll be fine because she has her friends. I get that she might be clinging harder because of that, but it’s also starting to feel like an unfair emotional burden.
She’s also mentioned that in the past, coworkers and acquaintances would tell her they’d stay in touch, but then they drifted away. I used to feel bad for her, thinking maybe it was just misunderstandings—but now, I’m realizing I’m probably just another person in that same pattern, and it’s wearing me down.
I’ve reached the point where I know I need to end this friendship, mostly for my own peace of mind. But there’s one major complication: we share a friend group. I don’t want to create drama or make things uncomfortable for our mutual friends, but at the same time, I’m tired of feeling like I’m putting in all the effort and being treated this way.
I actually talked to two friends from the group about it (they brought it up first, since they noticed I got quiet after our last meetup). They said they noticed the way she was treating me (and said something). One admitted he’s also thinking about ending the friendship because he’s finding her behavior difficult, and the other feels bad but has things that annoy her too.
Normally, I’d be direct but kind. I’d explain why, and then step away. But with her, I feel like I can’t. Even if I try to be soft, she’s overly sensitive, takes everything personally, and responds with emotion rather than reflection.
How should I do this?