I spent a lot of my 20s pursuing my career and in school at night. I regret it. I wasn’t living where I wanted to be so I didn’t date seriously and I was in school and working full time and I also wore my body down to an unhealthy level.
I can’t believe I was this dumb to not date and prioritize finding a partner and even working on myself so I could handle dating and feel deserving.
I’m not 32 almost 33 and single. I feel like I missed my chance to find a good guy. Most people now have kids and are married. I wake up in a panic most mornings and I can barely breathe. It feels like the walls are closing in. I don’t look as good as I did when I was 25 or even 28. I just feel so bummed and like I really screwed up my life.
I know well meaning people will try and give me good feedback and say it’s not too late but I feel like it is. I just want to give up.
The last year I really have dating my all. I go out a ton but I live in a small ski town so it’s super hard to date and I just feel so destitute. I should probably move – but it takes years to get settled somewhere else. Maybe I’m being overly pessimistic but I’m just bummed.
I’ve been on the dating apps since January tinder and bumble. I’ve had men try and use me for sex. Most men just say they want sex with me. I also have never found someone I truly connected with – I feel as a full time working adult I haven’t had much bandwidth to date or even give much thought to the type of relationship I want.
I went traveling to a neighboring state over the Fourth of July and I met a guy at a bar who was my dream guy. We happened to be at the same restaurant the next day and ate dinner together at the bar but I was leaving the next day and he didn’t ask for me number.
I am also stating to feel old and like men won’t want me so I am bringing that anxiety into a lot of my conversations with men. I am starting to feel anxious and desperate and I am having a hard time going with the flow and being in the moment.
Wondering if anyone has any tips or how to cope.