I realized I have a hard time saying “no” when I feel uncomfortable, and it’s starting to bother me.
A while back, I was hanging out with some friends. One guy followed me down to my floor even though he lived much higher up. When I stepped out, I asked why he was leaving, then said “I kaypoh” and followed me to my room. He asked to come in, and I just agreed even though I didn’t want to. Afterward, I felt really intruded. I keep blaming myself for letting him in, even though deep down I know I didn’t owe him access to my space.
More recently, I was playing mahjong. The guy on my right reached into my drawer to take the points. It’s normal to handle points, but reaching into my drawer felt like a violation of my space. I didn’t say anything though—I just moved my chair back when his hand got close. It reminded me of how, at a past workplace, someone touched my keyboard without asking and I shouted at him. My boss scolded me the next day because that person was a long-time employee.
So now I’m stuck between either saying nothing and feeling intruded, or speaking up and getting backlash. I don’t know how to assert my boundaries in a way that feels safe. I feel paranoid sometimes, but the discomfort is real.
I just needed to get this off my chest. Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you learn to handle it?
Btw im a girl