The guy (M29) I (F31) am seeing is going through a stressful time and deals with a bit of anxiety. Despite that, he still makes time for me, just not as actively as before.
When we first started (two months ago), he was the one planning things. Now I’m usually the one organizing, but he always shows up, doesn’t cancel, and when we’re together it’s good. He also always replies to my texts, also with long paragraphs. He just seems less flirty and less expressive than before.
For context: he came out of a cohabiting relationship in March, which he ended because he felt trapped and without his own space. From the start, we’ve both agreed we don’t want a committed relationship right now — it’s more of a friends-with-benefits thing. We have sex but also go for drinks, movies, etc.
At the beginning, there was more reciprocity and that really made me feel good. Now it feels a bit less balanced. I still like him a lot, and the sex is great, but if he’s losing interest then it doesn’t make sense to keep this going. If it’s just stress draining his energy, then I can be patient.
One more thing: sometimes he has “paranoias”, meaning he worries that I might secretly want more and get hurt by him, and I suspect he also fears that he himself could end up wanting more.
I know only he can give me the real answer, and I’ve already tried to bring it up. He acknowledged the importance of talking about it and even said he has a couple of points he wants to discuss, but it was 3 AM and he was exhausted, so we didn’t get into it.
I just want to be mentally prepared for when we do talk, not because I’m pushing for a relationship, but because I’d genuinely be sad to lose this connection on a human level. So, does this sound like someone who’s genuinely losing interest, or more like a stressed guy who still cares but doesn’t have the bandwidth to show it the way he did at the start?