A quick disclaimer: I have BPD and that potentially conditions how I view all my interactions with this person, so I might be more dramatic or oblivious towards certain things.
I've been talking with this girl for three months now: we live in neighboring countries and I visit her country every two months on average. For the first couple of months everything was going great and we texted daily, called every few days for entire nights, and had a great relationship in general. We didn't know where we were headed but it was being a fun time. There was a big issue though: she insisted a couple of times on how she's a "shit person", which I initially didn't believe, or if I did, I thought I could handle.
It all changed a few weeks ago when we started talking politics. She doesn't have any political opinions I vehemently disagree with so that's not the issue; politically we're actually quite compatible, but we slightly disagree on some opinions, and it's how she voices them that's the issue. When we have these kind of discussions I try to treat it as a calm debate, but she starts yelling over the phone and getting extremely aggressive. I used to be like this when I got agitated over debates, so I tried tolerating it from a point of trying to understand her behavior, but one day, during one of these discussions, she started claiming that I had said "she doesn't understand" the issue at hand and got mad over it to the point of yelling and insulting me. I tried telling her I did not say that at all, and while at first she started to get me doubting if I had actually said that and didn't remember, eventually she started adding details to what I had supposedly said, and I realized that she was making everything up and trying to gaslight me. I told her that we should hang up and talk tomorrow when we were both calmer, and I started getting a panic attack. She then realized what she had done wrong and apologized for everything, and I forgave her, and I told her we should stop talking politics, but she's been behaving oddly ever since.
A couple of days ago she broke our pattern of talking daily and started leaving me on seen. I got worried today and asked her if everything is alright, and she said that it is but she just doesn't want to talk right now and that I shouldn't worry at all (not to comfort me, she literally meant that I should not be worrying over this stuff). I told her that going from speaking daily to her suddenly being absent for a few days gave me whiplash and was worrying to me and that I'd like her to do me a favor and tell me at least something if she's going to do that, especially since these kind of things worry me even more than normal as I have BPD, and she told me that she wasn't going to do so, that she doesn't want to do me any favors and that I should keep my worries to myself because she doesn't appreciate them. Ultimately, she said she's not ghosting me or trying to disappear from my life, but after this, I'm starting to consider that her disappearing might be the best course of action.
After all this, I kind of fear seeing her in person again. Her aggressive behavior through phone calls has given me the impression that she'd extend it to the point of using physical violence if she has the chance, and I feel like she'll definitely try to gaslight me more. Then again, maybe I am being dramatic as she says and shouldn't be worrying over her disappearing for a few days, which has been the main catalyst to me considering if I should cut her off.
**TL;DR**: Been speaking to a girl long distance daily on the phone, After a debate on differing opinions she yelled at me, insulted me, and started trying to gaslight me into thinking I said something I hadn't. I stopped talking politics with her but now she's stopped talking to me for a few days after talking daily and called me dramatic for getting worried. I need to know if I'm actually dramatic and if I'm the one who should change to keep pursuing this, or just cut this off.