I am an incredibly friendly and, at first, an interesting person. I do have (sometimes very severe) social anxiety, but I believe I manage it better than a lot, and I'm grateful. I can tell that most people in a group initially take an interest in me, but no one really cares to make me their friend much.
I'm afraid the longer someone knows me, the more they dislike me.
It's quite odd… I hardly have close friends, and when I do, they end up putting less effort the longer the friendship continues (by days or weeks). I used to have a friend group, and everyone was close friends with at least one person in it, except for me.
I'm not a very problematic person, and I try to mediate any kind of struggle/problem because I really hate conflict. I'm also not a very confrontational person.
At home, I'm the opposite: My family says I'm moody, argumentative and negative. I believe I'm a quiet person. I'm always in my head, distrustful, paranoid, and I easily get stuck in my mind, often looping. I fear that people outside may notice it or catch on, even though I genuinely don't let it slip. Or maybe it does slip? I don't know if I just give 'bad vibes' because a stranger once told me that I seem to keep a lot to myself/am self-reliant.
Other than that, I care a lot about my academics in university and often stay in to study. My interests include music, games, philosophy, books/literature, religion, and mysticism (in a more related sense), but perhaps these interests are things people find boring. I don't like talking too much about myself all of a sudden, so I wait until someone tells me they share the same interests as me to bring them up.
I would love to hear other opinions on what the problem might be and how to manage it.
1 comment
It seems like this is more of a challenge with your social anxiety affecting the way you think people perceive you. Maybe post on r/socialanxiety to get advice. But regardless it’s better to be authentic and find people you really resonate with, who share your same interests, rather than trying to suddenly change your personality. Your interests are not even boring and there are different ways you could proactively find people like yourself. e.g. social clubs, online, book clubs, concerts or niche music clubs.
Sometimes it’s good to step out of your comfort zone and be the first to initiate friendships but if you feel like the friends you make are able to leave you so easily, maybe they were just not meant to stick around in your life and that’s not always a bad thing. There’s always opportunities to make more and better friends and overall have fun and enjoy life . If people actually think you’re boring F*** them lol.