For context, My fiance (33F) and I (32M) have recently gotten engaged after 7 years of dating, long I know. We have a wonderful relationship and are planning our wedding in a years time, as well as building our dream house together. We are planning to possibly have kids eventually, but not too soon, as financially we’re focused on the wedding and the house.
My fiance and her father (~55M) have never had a very close relationship as he is the type to be walled off, but he has provided for them and has been somewhat present in their lives. Currently, he is retired and runs a small restaurant-bar that I understand doesn’t make too much money.
A few years ago, her father seemed to land in some kind of financial trouble, but no one knew the details. Even his wife (~55F) was not privy to what was going on, with him often encouraging his children not to let her know he was borrowing money as to not stress her out. Eventually, He started borrowing large amounts of money from his children every few months. What started out as small amounts (USD 2000-4000) have gotten bigger over the last few years and as it stands, my fiance has already given over USD 20000 to help her father without much question. We live in a developing country so this is an especially large amount of cash, around 1 years wages for her.
Eventually, the amounts he was asking for from his children (my fiance is the eldest of 4 kids, and her younger siblings are in early career stages so they make far less than her) became almost debilitating so my fiance was finally able to talk to her dad and understand what happened.
To summarize his position, he was allegedly a victim of a pyramid scam, and the higher ups have disappeared and left him out to dry. Now, people who “invested” through my fiances father are threatening to sue him with criminal charges. In total, he owes them around $200, 000. Interest payments alone as huge and my fiancés family is now facing financial ruin. Banks have been on the brink of repossessing whatever they could from their house, loans have been taken to cover other loans, and cars have had to be sold or given over to the banks. Despite collecting large amounts of money from his children, we don’t even know if what was given was only for interest and we don’t know how much of the $200k remains to be paid. If he doesn’t pay on time to the ever-shortening deadline, he may face criminal charges and end up in jail and my fiancés family may lose their home in the worst case scenario.
This brings to my question – should I bail out her father? My parents passed away at an early age and as a result, my current networth is around $400k USD. I know if I bail out my fiancés father, I will survive, but I will lose half my networth, money that of course was planned for our future home, family, security, etc.
It’s worth nothing that my fiance has never asked or hinted to me that she wants me to help out financially. She also does not know my total networth, but she knows I can offer significant help. Also, they have consulted legal professionals and with the way things seem, it’s not clear cut that he could beat the charges even as he maintains he is just a victim himself.
I know the financially prudent decision is not to give up half my networth to bail him out, but I don’t know how I would feel if he does go to jail and they lose their home, knowing I could’ve helped. For additional context, my fiancés siblings all have work and can find their way through life. My mother in law has family she could easily live with (she lives in a family compound composed of a few residences occupied by her father and sisters). So if the worst case scenario happens, no one is ending up on the street, although my father in law may end up in jail.
What should I do? Am I a bad person for not wanting to bail him out?
TL;DR
My future father in law may go to jail for alleged financial fraud due to falling victim to a pyramid scheme and being left with the bill in hand. I may be his only way out, although it will cost me half my networth to save him. What should I do?!