Im 53. I destroyed my marriage. We were married for 22 years and going out with each other for 28 years. She is social and I am anti social, full of anxiety. I had, fill in the blanks, a really shitty childhood full of trauma.
She was lovely to me, kind and loving, but I was never able to be confident in the offer I could give to her, that she made a mistake in loving me, and that I would drag her down. So I hid in my marriage, put all my time into the kids, and work and when it came to trying to fix it, and I really did try to it was too late.
And as we come to separation she blooms and Im left ruminating, without friendships, crying. I fucked it up so much, had everything never felt like I deserved any of it, or knew how to value it.
What the fuck is wrong with me?