I work in a hospital so it seems like all my coworkers are very open and funny and have no shame. It seems like everyone’s just so funny and outspoken all the time. I have a thing where I want the people around me to feel comfortable. For example I habitually laugh at nearly every joke I hear because I don’t want people to feel awkward or bad for cracking a joke that doesn’t land. But this is exhausting. And I know I’m people pleasing.
I really want to be myself at work. It’s exhausting worrying about how I’m perceived all the time. I often just stay quiet and smile and suppress my real self but I know this will not build connections with my coworkers and it’s exhausting. But I truly don’t know how to be myself at work. I can be myself around people my age and I can be myself when I know other people are having a hard time being their selves, and I can really be myself after I’ve had a few drinks but at work? I’m just smiley and nice and sweet and quiet. That’s where it’s safe. But that’s also where I cant seem to get out of