[Edit(s) at bottom.]
My boyfriend (30M) and I (30F) have been together for 5 years. We live together in a rented apartment with a roommate. A few years back I first brought up the subject of marriage and I remember him saying that he didn't want to get married. I don't remember if I pressed for more information at the time, but I swept the topic under the rug, in hopes he would want to get married in the future. (I know, not the smartest thing)
Now here we are, almost five years in and I love this man so much. I want to be married to him. We've spoken and he does want to be with me forever, but he's still not a fan of marriage (though he's willing to go through legals steps like power of health attorney to protect each other)(There's no common-law marriage or domestic partnership legal recognition where we live). Even when he was younger, marriage was just an 'ok' thing for him, but as he's gotten older his opinion of it has declined. He did not have any good examples of marriage growing up, his parents weren't together (father not in the picture), relationships in his family didn't last. With his friends, he's seen perfectly happy relationships fall apart after the wedding.
We had a long heart-to-heart about it and now he's saying that if we reach year 10, there would be a possibility of us getting married. When I asked him for more clarification, he said that it wouldn't necessarily take that long, but he's really going to think about it. He's not the type to be pressured into anything, so I know that if he agrees to marry me then it's because he wants to, though he said he did not think he'll ever be super excited about it. We're going to couple's counseling in a few weeks and I'm feeling so insecure. I love him, and I want to be with him.
Does anyone have an experience like this? Where their partner didn't necessarily want to get married, but after a lot of thought and consideration chose to do so?
Edit 1: Why do I want to get married? It just feels right. It feels like the ultimate commitment. I was never the little girl who dreamt of getting married one day, it was just something people did once they've chosen to spend the rest of their lives together. I know you don't need a legal agreement to prove that you're committed to someone, that one chooses to be with their partner every day.