Serious question: For women who have kids, what has your experience been like, and do you ever regret the decision?
August 25, 2025
Serious question: For women who have kids, what has your experience been like, and do you ever regret the decision?
26 comments
It all depends on the man you have had the kid with.
If this is an already unhappy failing marriage, it is definitely not a place for a child.
So yes, I do regret it. Not to mention, this world is no longer safe for raising a child of any gender.
Honestly, the most fulfilling and beautiful experience ever. Is it challenging? Yes it is the most difficult thing I have ever done but its all the more rewarding! I also agree that the partner you have the child with is a huge factor in how much you end up enjoying it, but it is a delight. My whole world changed for the better.
Having a child is the most vulnerable you will ever be, and you get the meet the real “you” through the process of being a mom. You created, grew, and birthed a human! That is the most authentic way you get to know yourself, and if you aren’t kind, to yourself patient with yourself, or accepting of this experience, the chances of regretting it will skyrocket. Because pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum are things you will have very little control over so you have to have strong mental resilience and adaptability. You have to accept all of the blows and lower expectations to zero
I can’t imagine life without them. My oldest is nearly 18, it’s been damn hard at times but at the same time so awesome to watch them grow and become amazing people.
My only regret is I wish I had chosen a better man for their dad, he’s not a bad person as such but he has not turned out to be the husband or dad I thought he would be. Even in the darkest parts of our relationship/separation/divorce and being a single mum I never regretted having our kids.
I regret it. Just want to be clear that I love my son and would do anything for him, but I don’t think I was designed for motherhood.
My son has profound autism and a learning disability, so I have t had all the positive parenting experiences that most have. He is non-verbal, so I’ve never heard him say mum or had any kind of conversation with him. He is likely to need support for the rest of his life and I’m terrified what I going to happen to him when I’m gone.
I was never someone who dreamed of having kids the way my sister and other people did, I sort of did it because it was expected. If I’d known how hard it would be and how much my son would suffer, I wouldn’t have done it
Overall, it’s awesome. There have been hard days, we all get frustrated sometimes, but my kids are great.
The only regret I’ve felt is about the state of the world that they have to live in.
I love my kid, he’s 3. He is the best human in the world. My life is better because of knowing him. Im happier for it. But motherhood itself is anchoring in many many ways. I still wish I have the kind of support system that allows me to thrive as an individual and as a mother. I don’t. So it’s hard.
Not for one second do I regret having my daughter. I absolutely adore her. We’ve had good days and bad days as does anyone raising a baby but thankfully our bad days are very rare. It helps massively that my partner is an awesome father and partner.
My baby is my reason for living most the time, I thought I had a decent husband, turns out he’s a PoS and was just good at deceiving me. But yeah, my baby is my lifeline and the/my world is a better place for having him in it. Always full of smiles and up to mischief 🫠
Mine are 19 and 15, I’ve been married to their father for 24years. Besides the fact that I largely stayed out of the workforce while raising them (I picked up cleaning jobs for extra $$ but didn’t work in my actual field, so in my mid 40’s I’m getting back into the work force. It’s hard.) I would change very little about our life. My kids are wonderful humans who improve the world a little bit every day. We’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years, and there have been some REALLY challenging times (mental health, unemployment, physical health), but for me, the positives outweigh any negatives every time.
Somehow both the most exhausting/soul sucking experience and the most beautiful, wonderful, and fulfilling experience at the same time. Never regret it though
It’s been a total mixed bag. My kid is 1 btw. While pregnant, there was pressure to work like I wasn’t pregnant- being asked to work 16+ hr days, being “coached” on speaking louder when public speaking despite not having the lung capacity, etc. After a while, it was so hard to even pretend I cared about work, and I’m normally a very driven career person.
Birth actually really wasn’t bad at all. I had great doctors and nurses caring for me, and family really stepped up to help when it was time to go to the hospital. Had a natural birth with epidural, no tearing. Recovery went well.
Immediate postpartum was great. I didn’t have much (if any) issues with postpartum depression. Again, friend and family really stepped up and I really felt supported. That kind of tapered off after a month or so.
My biggest issue after birth was trying to hype myself up to go back to work after 4 months away. I had about a 2 week long period of the Sunday scaries. When I went back, I felt like I was on autopilot. Had to deal with everything they didn’t address while I was out. My son got sick a few times in my first 2 months back due to being at daycare, and it was clearly frowned upon to “take even more time off” to care for him. My immediate coworkers were cool about it, but management was a bunch of dicks. Turns out the issue all along was that I hate the management at my job, so I’ll be starting a new job next month.
I’m tired, I’m about 15lbs fatter than I want to be, and it’s costing a little more than I thought. But, is it worth it? For me, yes…. and I don’t regret it one bit. Through all of this, my husband has been our hero and I have no idea how I would manage this with anyone else. I love seeing our little guy grow, and seeing my husband grow into his role as dad has been incredible.
It’s great. I’ve never regretted anything at all.
I’m 52 and my kids are 33/30 and 27yrs old. I also have two grandkids which are even better!!!!
I’ve been with my hubby since we were both 14yrs old
I don’t regret my kids at all. I do regret when I had them. My first was not planned and I was only 5 years into my career. All was fine and dandy, career was suffering a little but I still did a good job, but then my second was born. Suddenly, I would only be making $1,000 a month after childcare costs. That wouldn’t include sick days from daycare germs. So I decided to stay home with the kids and here I am.
I miss my career, but this time is precious and fast. I’ll go back to work in two years when my youngest is in school. However, I miss working greatly. If I had a higher salary when having babies I could’ve afforded to continue working.
And I know I could go back now. $1,000 is still better than nothing. But the stress from being a working mom to young babies is the worst. Right now I love that I can be home with them whenever they need me.
Also seconding the person who said to pick a great partner. I often brag that I gave my kids the best man I’ve ever met as their father. He really is a wonderful person and while there have been many challenges we come out stronger.
[removed]
Life is very busy, but absolutely never regret it!
It has been wonderful and joyful. Also very difficult, especially the decrease in time for myself, but never to the point of regret.
A key factor is that my husband is a great father and partner and we share the load equally.
It’s the biggest thing in my life. When I was 20 I wanted 3 kids. Now I am 32, I have only one daughter (8 y.o.) and I am done with another kids. My daughter is wonderful person – she is so smart, so kind, so pure and brave. She is my whole world. She was also amazing as baby – she was calm, joyful, funny, sleeper, no problems with her. But parenthood is the most difficult discipline in the world. Responsibility for her life, concern for her health and future, the need to take care of her. And it will never end. I will worry about her even when she is an adult. I have never regretted having her. But every day I feel like I’m failing and that I’m not a good enough parent for her. These are the hardest emotions for me when I try to raise her to be a good person, but at the same time I struggle with my own imperfections, bad habits etc. At the same time, I know that my daughter has brought me such happiness that no one else ever will.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I love them both so much and wouldn’t trade anything for them.
There is literally nothing about my life that my daughter has not improved. If I could go back in time, the only change I would make is not waiting so long to have her (I was 31). I have thrived in ways I didn’t imagine possible before I had her, and I have never known love or happiness like it.
We have a 5 month old.
My husband has stepped up in ways I never could have imagined. We’ve been together 13 years and we’re definitely better partners than we were even a year ago. He does all the cooking right now and tries to anticipate what needs to be done. I can’t imagine how I would make it through without him.
But the baby doesn’t really take a bottle. I work full time but I’m the default parent for sure. So on week days I wake up with the baby and get her fed and ready for daycare. Then entertain her while figuring out how to get myself ready at the same time. Then I go to work. When I’m off work I feed and entertain her until I get her ready for bed. Any night wakings I handle because I have to get up to feed her anyway.
I don’t Regret having a baby but it is pretty hard right now. My depression is not hormonal, it’s exhaustion and burn out.
Its been great actually. Alot of people tried to scare me by saying my life was over and id never be able to fun and that id be miserable. Im not miserable i love my son and my husband is a great father and partner.
No I don’t regret my children. I know if I didn’t have them I’d be yearning for them from the pits of soul. I do however mourn for a the carefree life I had pre kids. No amount of warning or advice will prepare you for the way you manage time. How spontaneous fun trips of literally walking out the doors with money and keys is a thing of the past, now you must make sure you have the nappy bag, is the outing during nap time, bring a bottle, clothes don’t forget the dummy. Kids are older? Gotta think about their hunger schedules and their needs. They are not coming, the very least is working out who will watch them and if it’s not an equal care giver you have to plan and make sure they have access to everything the child needs.
You are no responsible to making breakfast/lunch/dinner/ snacks for your tiny humans. As a childless adult, if you aren’t hungry you just don’t cook or do food.
Then there is the costs. Childcare, clothes, food, afterschool activities, the latest trends, holidays, summer activities, school trips, uniform. It’s never ending.
So whilst there’s no regrets, and they are such awesome little humans, I do miss my carefree life pre children.
There’s a subreddit for regretful parents. Many mothers _do_ regret having had children but are often too ashamed to admit it publicly.
Three children, 6,4,3 years old. It’s hard, stressful, challenging and chaotic but I don’t regret it for a moment. It has been the most rewarding and fulfilling thing I could have ever experienced.
It definitely changes your life in different ways that will make you feel all types of way like regret, missing out, overwhelmed, like a slave. But the good parts very very much outweigh this, seeing their faces each morning. Watching them do something new, how happy they get over corn on the cob. It’s like living again through them. I am still very much a career person but being a mother is also a blessing and I see this as a chapter in my life it’s not going to be my life which is why had them so close together so they can grow and fly and I can get back to my life whilst celebrating theirs.
My three are all adults and living on their own but one has a live in girlfriend. It was challenging at times with all three. Wish I had done something different but no regrets for having my babies
26 comments
It all depends on the man you have had the kid with.
If this is an already unhappy failing marriage, it is definitely not a place for a child.
So yes, I do regret it. Not to mention, this world is no longer safe for raising a child of any gender.
Honestly, the most fulfilling and beautiful experience ever. Is it challenging? Yes it is the most difficult thing I have ever done but its all the more rewarding! I also agree that the partner you have the child with is a huge factor in how much you end up enjoying it, but it is a delight. My whole world changed for the better.
Having a child is the most vulnerable you will ever be, and you get the meet the real “you” through the process of being a mom. You created, grew, and birthed a human! That is the most authentic way you get to know yourself, and if you aren’t kind, to yourself patient with yourself, or accepting of this experience, the chances of regretting it will skyrocket. Because pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum are things you will have very little control over so you have to have strong mental resilience and adaptability. You have to accept all of the blows and lower expectations to zero
I can’t imagine life without them. My oldest is nearly 18, it’s been damn hard at times but at the same time so awesome to watch them grow and become amazing people.
My only regret is I wish I had chosen a better man for their dad, he’s not a bad person as such but he has not turned out to be the husband or dad I thought he would be. Even in the darkest parts of our relationship/separation/divorce and being a single mum I never regretted having our kids.
I regret it. Just want to be clear that I love my son and would do anything for him, but I don’t think I was designed for motherhood.
My son has profound autism and a learning disability, so I have t had all the positive parenting experiences that most have. He is non-verbal, so I’ve never heard him say mum or had any kind of conversation with him. He is likely to need support for the rest of his life and I’m terrified what I going to happen to him when I’m gone.
I was never someone who dreamed of having kids the way my sister and other people did, I sort of did it because it was expected. If I’d known how hard it would be and how much my son would suffer, I wouldn’t have done it
Overall, it’s awesome. There have been hard days, we all get frustrated sometimes, but my kids are great.
The only regret I’ve felt is about the state of the world that they have to live in.
I love my kid, he’s 3. He is the best human in the world. My life is better because of knowing him. Im happier for it. But motherhood itself is anchoring in many many ways. I still wish I have the kind of support system that allows me to thrive as an individual and as a mother. I don’t. So it’s hard.
Not for one second do I regret having my daughter. I absolutely adore her. We’ve had good days and bad days as does anyone raising a baby but thankfully our bad days are very rare. It helps massively that my partner is an awesome father and partner.
My baby is my reason for living most the time, I thought I had a decent husband, turns out he’s a PoS and was just good at deceiving me. But yeah, my baby is my lifeline and the/my world is a better place for having him in it. Always full of smiles and up to mischief 🫠
Mine are 19 and 15, I’ve been married to their father for 24years. Besides the fact that I largely stayed out of the workforce while raising them (I picked up cleaning jobs for extra $$ but didn’t work in my actual field, so in my mid 40’s I’m getting back into the work force. It’s hard.) I would change very little about our life. My kids are wonderful humans who improve the world a little bit every day. We’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years, and there have been some REALLY challenging times (mental health, unemployment, physical health), but for me, the positives outweigh any negatives every time.
Somehow both the most exhausting/soul sucking experience and the most beautiful, wonderful, and fulfilling experience at the same time. Never regret it though
It’s been a total mixed bag. My kid is 1 btw. While pregnant, there was pressure to work like I wasn’t pregnant- being asked to work 16+ hr days, being “coached” on speaking louder when public speaking despite not having the lung capacity, etc. After a while, it was so hard to even pretend I cared about work, and I’m normally a very driven career person.
Birth actually really wasn’t bad at all. I had great doctors and nurses caring for me, and family really stepped up to help when it was time to go to the hospital. Had a natural birth with epidural, no tearing. Recovery went well.
Immediate postpartum was great. I didn’t have much (if any) issues with postpartum depression. Again, friend and family really stepped up and I really felt supported. That kind of tapered off after a month or so.
My biggest issue after birth was trying to hype myself up to go back to work after 4 months away. I had about a 2 week long period of the Sunday scaries. When I went back, I felt like I was on autopilot. Had to deal with everything they didn’t address while I was out. My son got sick a few times in my first 2 months back due to being at daycare, and it was clearly frowned upon to “take even more time off” to care for him. My immediate coworkers were cool about it, but management was a bunch of dicks. Turns out the issue all along was that I hate the management at my job, so I’ll be starting a new job next month.
I’m tired, I’m about 15lbs fatter than I want to be, and it’s costing a little more than I thought. But, is it worth it? For me, yes…. and I don’t regret it one bit. Through all of this, my husband has been our hero and I have no idea how I would manage this with anyone else. I love seeing our little guy grow, and seeing my husband grow into his role as dad has been incredible.
It’s great. I’ve never regretted anything at all.
I’m 52 and my kids are 33/30 and 27yrs old. I also have two grandkids which are even better!!!!
I’ve been with my hubby since we were both 14yrs old
I don’t regret my kids at all. I do regret when I had them. My first was not planned and I was only 5 years into my career. All was fine and dandy, career was suffering a little but I still did a good job, but then my second was born. Suddenly, I would only be making $1,000 a month after childcare costs. That wouldn’t include sick days from daycare germs. So I decided to stay home with the kids and here I am.
I miss my career, but this time is precious and fast. I’ll go back to work in two years when my youngest is in school. However, I miss working greatly. If I had a higher salary when having babies I could’ve afforded to continue working.
And I know I could go back now. $1,000 is still better than nothing. But the stress from being a working mom to young babies is the worst. Right now I love that I can be home with them whenever they need me.
Also seconding the person who said to pick a great partner. I often brag that I gave my kids the best man I’ve ever met as their father. He really is a wonderful person and while there have been many challenges we come out stronger.
[removed]
Life is very busy, but absolutely never regret it!
It has been wonderful and joyful. Also very difficult, especially the decrease in time for myself, but never to the point of regret.
A key factor is that my husband is a great father and partner and we share the load equally.
It’s the biggest thing in my life. When I was 20 I wanted 3 kids. Now I am 32, I have only one daughter (8 y.o.) and I am done with another kids. My daughter is wonderful person – she is so smart, so kind, so pure and brave. She is my whole world. She was also amazing as baby – she was calm, joyful, funny, sleeper, no problems with her. But parenthood is the most difficult discipline in the world. Responsibility for her life, concern for her health and future, the need to take care of her. And it will never end. I will worry about her even when she is an adult. I have never regretted having her. But every day I feel like I’m failing and that I’m not a good enough parent for her. These are the hardest emotions for me when I try to raise her to be a good person, but at the same time I struggle with my own imperfections, bad habits etc. At the same time, I know that my daughter has brought me such happiness that no one else ever will.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I love them both so much and wouldn’t trade anything for them.
There is literally nothing about my life that my daughter has not improved. If I could go back in time, the only change I would make is not waiting so long to have her (I was 31). I have thrived in ways I didn’t imagine possible before I had her, and I have never known love or happiness like it.
We have a 5 month old.
My husband has stepped up in ways I never could have imagined. We’ve been together 13 years and we’re definitely better partners than we were even a year ago. He does all the cooking right now and tries to anticipate what needs to be done. I can’t imagine how I would make it through without him.
But the baby doesn’t really take a bottle. I work full time but I’m the default parent for sure. So on week days I wake up with the baby and get her fed and ready for daycare. Then entertain her while figuring out how to get myself ready at the same time. Then I go to work. When I’m off work I feed and entertain her until I get her ready for bed. Any night wakings I handle because I have to get up to feed her anyway.
I don’t Regret having a baby but it is pretty hard right now. My depression is not hormonal, it’s exhaustion and burn out.
Its been great actually. Alot of people tried to scare me by saying my life was over and id never be able to fun and that id be miserable. Im not miserable i love my son and my husband is a great father and partner.
No I don’t regret my children. I know if I didn’t have them I’d be yearning for them from the pits of soul. I do however mourn for a the carefree life I had pre kids. No amount of warning or advice will prepare you for the way you manage time. How spontaneous fun trips of literally walking out the doors with money and keys is a thing of the past, now you must make sure you have the nappy bag, is the outing during nap time, bring a bottle, clothes don’t forget the dummy. Kids are older? Gotta think about their hunger schedules and their needs. They are not coming, the very least is working out who will watch them and if it’s not an equal care giver you have to plan and make sure they have access to everything the child needs.
You are no responsible to making breakfast/lunch/dinner/ snacks for your tiny humans. As a childless adult, if you aren’t hungry you just don’t cook or do food.
Then there is the costs. Childcare, clothes, food, afterschool activities, the latest trends, holidays, summer activities, school trips, uniform. It’s never ending.
So whilst there’s no regrets, and they are such awesome little humans, I do miss my carefree life pre children.
There’s a subreddit for regretful parents. Many mothers _do_ regret having had children but are often too ashamed to admit it publicly.
Three children, 6,4,3 years old. It’s hard, stressful, challenging and chaotic but I don’t regret it for a moment. It has been the most rewarding and fulfilling thing I could have ever experienced.
It definitely changes your life in different ways that will make you feel all types of way like regret, missing out, overwhelmed, like a slave. But the good parts very very much outweigh this, seeing their faces each morning. Watching them do something new, how happy they get over corn on the cob. It’s like living again through them. I am still very much a career person but being a mother is also a blessing and I see this as a chapter in my life it’s not going to be my life which is why had them so close together so they can grow and fly and I can get back to my life whilst celebrating theirs.
My three are all adults and living on their own but one has a live in girlfriend. It was challenging at times with all three. Wish I had done something different but no regrets for having my babies