I’ll tuck this secret feeling in here.
I fell for this guy in 2021 right after the pandemic. He was a kind and simple man. I liked his temperament and how at ease he always seemed. We saw each other for two months and I thought he liked me. Except he only saw it as a situationship. We stopped seeing other and never spoke to each other again. A few months after, he started a long distance relationship with a much younger girl. It got serious and now they live together in my city.
I found out yesterday that they got engaged. I knew that one day they would and I guess it hurts me in a different way. One, it truly closes the door of opportunity or fate or whatever. Two, I haven’t been able to feel deeply about anyone else in such a pure way. Every guy after him always felt temporary.
I don’t know if I’m ever going to feel or experience love. I’m 32 living in LA and love feels so unattainable in this city. I’ve stopped dating for a year because of the many disappointments. I feel tired.