Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice or perspectives from people who have experienced similar situations. I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for 5 months. She’s affectionate, loves cuddling, holding hands, kissing, and general physical closeness, but she’s slower to get comfortable with more intimate or sexual touch.
To give you a clearer picture:
- Less than 2 months into our relationship, I tried to kiss her, and she pulled away. She later initiated kissing herself, but during the next few times we met over the following month, she didn’t want to kiss. After that, we started very slowly, and it took her 2–3 months to fully relax and be comfortable with kissing.
- She’s okay with me touching her waist, stomach, and upper thighs (but not breasts or groin), and she enjoys cuddling, holding hands, and general physical affection.
- We haven’t had any explicit conversations about sex yet, and she’s never said “I’m not ready,” only indicated boundaries when I tried touching her butt early on.
I naturally have a higher libido than her, and sometimes I want more intimacy than she’s comfortable with. I’ve noticed that:
- She enjoys being physically close and doesn’t pull away even if I want to continue kissing or gentle touching.
- Her pace seems gradual: as trust and comfort increase, she opens up to more physical intimacy.
I’m trying to understand:
- How likely is it that, once she fully relaxes sexually, her libido will align more closely with mine?
- For people who naturally take longer to get comfortable with sexual intimacy, what has your experience been like once you do open up?
- Are there strategies to help a partner feel safe and gradually open up without pressure, while also balancing differences in libido?
I really want to respect her pace and boundaries, but I also want to make sure that our sexual needs can be met in the long term. Any advice, experiences, or insights would be greatly appreciated.