I love my husband. He’s the love of my life. But he could at least make an effort to make our 10yr anniversary special. He gave me this flowers although its nice. But it doesnt feel appropriate for a 10th yr wa. It feels like flower arrangement that you put on a tombstone or a desk reception. I dont even like these colors, he likes to do this, get whatever is good enough like “here i got you something” went out to go eat lunch, he doesnt even know where to take us. He kept asking where do u want to eat, are you hungry. We ate at a japanese rotary sushi place. Its good enough we have our kids with us. Idk this day just feels so meh😕. No special plans. I told him few weeks ago i wanted to go somewhere for our anniversary, go out of island, 2-3 days korea or japan or Philippines. But he never confirmed it. Thank you for listening to me.
43 comments
We always talk about our anniversary in advance and plan it together. I’m not of the mindset that it needs to be some elaborate surprise.
What did you get/do for him ?
And this is why people don’t try. He got you something nice and all you are doing is complaining. I’d be over the moon had I gotten flowers for my 10th anniversary.
The present criticism is fair but let me get this straight. He asked you where you wanted to eat, you didn’t give any sort of meaningful reply then proceeded to complain about where you were taken.
After 10 years, there’s really not many surprises left and I’m pretty sure you know him better than all of us and knew this is what you’d get for your anniversary correct? I mean are they the nicest looking flowers? No, obviously not, but this guy is getting his back kicked in for not going over the top? Should he have rented a skywriting plane? What gesture or act is large enough in your opinion to satisfy your 10 year anniversary?
I think they are lovely though.
When I was in crappy relationships I used holidays and special occasions to validate that they cared. If my husband bought me these flowers I’d appreciate the gesture because he shows up in the marriage consistently every day. If one of my exes bought me these I’d be disappointed because it’s 1 out of 5 “proof moments” a year where they had the opportunity to show they cared about me.
Expecting to go to an island but only voicing it a few weeks ago is wild to me
I personally think it’s a nice flower arrangement, maybe this is a case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder.
I know that you’re having a vent, which is fair enough. Better to do it here than at your husband. And look, as someone only married 3 years (together 9), you may not be interested in my advice, but here it is: I don’t expect anything from my husband for our anniversary and I go through effort to make the day enjoyable for me as well as him. I buy food that I enjoy and he does too, and make us a romantic candlelit dinner. He downloads some movies for us to watch and picks up some nice wine. Maybe I’ll buy new lingerie. Whatever I buy, it’s an “us” gift and I ensure that I’m treating myself as well as him, because anniversaries are a celebration of *our* relationship, not him showering me with gifts and treats. And at the end of the day, it I want a day to be special I need to put in atleast 50% of the effort.
Our anniversary is coming up and we’ve vaguely talked about what we want to do. He said he’d think about where we can go to eat, but hadn’t seemed to settle on anything yet. So, yesterday I made reservations for us since it’s next weekend.
Anniversaries are a shared experience. Both people can plan. Both people should make each other feel loved and appreciated.
Whilst I agree that they look like graveside flowers, I had very similar ones for my daughter’s grave, is it possible that you and your husband need to establish better communication with each other?
Glad you are not my wife I feel bad for your husband
Romance comes from both people putting in that effort. Your anniversary is about BOTH of you. I don’t think either of you did a good job at making it special.
If it was your birthday I could understand wanting him to fully plan and stuff, but this is your shared special day. Try putting in some effort to make things special for the both of you – and then you can ask him to do the same.
And what special thing did you plan for him for your 10th anniversary?
Those are lovely flowers, and I totally didn’t expect this to be a complaint post when I clicked on it. I can understand being disappointed, but also, what do you expect if (like it sounds) he is the one doing so the planning and you refuse to give any input and just want to be surprised?
Why wouldn’t he ask where you want to eat? You want him to just pick somewhere and risk you being disappointed like you are with the flowers? Then you made it so it had to be that way, and you were disappointed.
I’ve been disappointed with anniversary gifts. I’ve done extensive searching and thinking about just the right thing to get for my husband and been given something that he grabbed last minute because he didnt understand the effort I was putting in for his gift. Now we both talk about what to get/do for our anniversary. It ends up being a fun thing we can plan together. It’s not a surprise then, but we are both doing the work and we are choosing something that we know we will both enjoy.
Anniversaries should be about BOTH people. One person shouldn’t be expected to do all the work with no input from the other.
I feel like Anniversaries should be planned together. You both need to be proactive in planning something special.
Shouldn’t you plan a trip together? Since it’s the anniversary of both of you?
The flowers are nice, but I understand your frustration, I just feel like couples should work together, rather than demand things from each other.
This is so incredibly entitled. My husband is amazing, he is a TERRIBLE gift giver. So through our marriage I’ve decided it’s less upset and anger if I tell him my expectations a month in advance or so.
What did you plan for him for your anniversary? Anything at all?
Ok…so not all, but most men, don’t know what a beautiful flower arrangement looks like. He saw that and thought omg my wife love these flowers, I think this looks nice, whatever. Same goes for picking out engagement rings. If I left my husband to it I would have gotten something I didn’t like. He got you flowers, took the time to pick something, and was thinking of you. What did you do for him? Maybe if you want something in particular, then drop some hints or flat out say this is what I want. My husband is terrible at surprises and being romantic. He loves me, takes care of me, appreciates me. But he needs help in the gift department and would prefer if I were upfront about my expectations.
So YOU expect all sorts of nice things, but didn’t do anything for him? Ok…ok…
[removed]
So you wanted him to plan everything and yet you only gave him a few weeks notice for your vague and expensive sounding ideas?
Maybe next year, you can both sit down together and plan something as a couple. Also, what did you get him and how did you make the day special for him?
Unspoken Expectations Are Premeditated Resentments.
Men aren’t mind readers. Tell him what you want.
What did you do for him????
It’s not just on a guy to plan and celebrate anniversaries, if you had other ideas you should of planned it for him
Well you could have made plans together like a couple and best friends :/
Maybe next time do this. My wife and I now dont exchange gifts we just go to a vacation and make memories.
Guys I thought this was one of our fluff posts about how marriage is bliss lol 😂 I saw these and my first thought was “what beautiful colours”
Wow just wow
Why would you expect your husband to plan your anniversary alone? What did you get him?
Marriage is a partnership, an anniversary is a celebration of the partnership meant to be planned together.
How you feel is valid, however I’m curious what you did for him on your anniversary? Why were you not able to plan anything?
This is why I’m glad my wife and I (married 18 years) have always shared the notion that gifts are wasteful.
If you wanted to do something special, you both should’ve sat down and plan everything together. After 10 years of marriage, you should know him better than anyone and he’s not suddenly going to wake up one day and be someone he’s not. It’s okay to feel disappointed, but stop sitting around waiting for someone else to do it, take the lead and go create your own happiness girl!
After 10 years, be glad you got something lol. In all seriousness, it sounds like you guys have different love languages. Talk to him about your love language and see if he can meet your needs in that sense.
It’s not your birthday, it’s your and your husband’s anniversary. Why is all of it his responsibility to celebrate you? The two of you should have been planning something together, as a married couple, to celebrate a day that should be important for both of you to share together.
flowers are expensive enough. this is beautiful !!
It’s my husband and I’s wedding anniversary today. We’re gonna go eat Panda Express later. You sound spoiled asf 😒
You can probably say in future, hey honey love these types of flowers the best. Can we go to (bla bla) for the weekend? You can even ask him to go for the weekend somewhere. But you have to be very appreciative for what he’s done already. And get him something as well. 🙂
10 years anniversary coming up on Monday. We’ll go for brunch with our youngest, infant daughter (the other in kindergarten) and visit my very old and sick grandma in the hospital. Nothing fancy. Just love. I got him a corny t-shirt with our picture on it.
It’s his anniversary too. What was done for him?
I’m surprised by all these comments honestly. 10 years is a huge milestone. This issue is more nuanced than “you are ungrateful”. She is valid to feel disappointed while also maybe needing to work on communication/planning with her partner. If surprises are important then that should be communicated, but after 10 years shouldn’t your husband know what color flowers you like? 10 years and he can’t make a reservation without having to ask what you want? I understand the disappointment. While also being true that hopefully she planned something special for him as well.
Was any of those trips affordable? Did want to go with him alone? What about the kids? What did you give him?
OP hasnt answer any question, maybe she has something she doesnt want us to know? Suspicious, maybe thats why he only got you this flowers.
You sound fun