Couples who quit using condoms, when did you quit?
Not really much to add here?
I’m (M21) wondering, when did y’all quit using condoms in your relationship if you did? What else did you rely on? How long had y’all been together or known each other? How did you bring up the idea of not using them?
17 comments
Whenever the both of you are ready to have kids?? Or when your gf hits menopause, or you have a vasectomy, or when she has a birth control implant.
It really depends on your goals and timeline.
When we decided we were only having sex with each other and got tested. I have an iud and He was an addict so there was zero chance his sperm was going to swim anywhere. If I was having sex with a healthy person I would probably be more hesitant to get jizzed in, even with an iud
We haven’t been using them for a while now only because he didn’t like using them. It’s very risky because we aren’t using other protective measures so I avoid having sex near ovulation.
I would definitely encourage you to keep using condoms unless you both have consented and understand the risks that come with it. If not, there isn’t a reason to stop using them.
When you are in a stable enough position to deal with a pregnancy. Me and my fiancée don’t use them at all but we are in a spot where if she gets preggo we are fine with it (not actively trying but if it happens it happens).
Or be willing to go to the clinic.
It was about 6 months in. I never liked them much so I got a diaphragm. Tried that for a couple months but didn’t like that either and got a copper IUD. Worked perfectly for the whole 12 years I had it.
With my ex husband, we used condoms the first few times but stopped. I was on the pill and took it reliably, he was a virgin prior, and I had testing done first. Hookups always involved condoms. My current partner and I stopped after about a month? We got tested and I was on the pill, then switched to an IUD. He’s since gotten a vasectomy. The only time I ever relied on “just” a condom, it slipped off and I had to retrieve it. I prefer to have more reliable contraception in place.
When you’re only sleeping with each other, trust ea h other enough to believe the other, both tested and if you don’t want kids – when one of you is “fixed”/IUD/BC or you have a shitload of plan b.
Big decision, based on your age, where I was at that age mentally and the question vs. talking to each other, you might not be there, and that’s ok, she gets pregnant or you get an STI there’s very little opportunity to “put the toothpaste back in the tube”.
It just comes with the culture where I live but most women get on BC in their teens and stay on it unless they have serious issues making them use alternatives. So I haven’t used condoms with any girlfriend as soon as we make it clear we’re a couple.
We decided to be exclusive about a month and a half into dating so I got birth control. We both took tests and came back clear. After that we stopped. You have to be ready for the consequences, and I hope there’s at least some type of contraceptives, and if there isn’t to be ready for the consequences whether that’s becoming parents or going to the clinic. We’ve now been married for 6 years and have 3 kids, he’s getting a vasectomy next week because the only additional member I’m ready to add to our family is one with 4 legs and fur 😂
Both get STI screened first (anyone who doesn’t is a absolute fool). The contraceptive pill doesn’t sit well with some women due to the hormones, so it may cause ill-effects (same with the coil). Diaphragm is a half decent alternative if your partner is happy, but like condoms it kinda kills the naked spontaneity of sex.
Anyway the whole thing is a huge leap of trust. I think you should keep them until you’re older – 21 is too young to be a parent if anything goes wrong.
My partner and i dont, i had a hysterectomy. But if i ever brought a new partner into my life it would probably be minimum 3 months, with testing and safe sex conversations, before i would consider no barriers. I was a sexual health educator and people really are not careful enough with their health.
We both were tested prior to even engaging in sexual activity. Then we used them for a few months and stopped. I have an IUD. We’ve been together just shy of 6 years.
I got a vasectomy. Best. Decision. Ever.
My ex and I started dating in 2001 and got married in 2010. We stopped using them on our wedding night. I was pregnant a month later.
ETA: WE were not trying for a baby. I had been told that I was infertile but had been in college and grad school up until this point and wanted no surprises. I figured the family planning method would be fine, especially since I was “infertile”. Guess again.
I have and IUD *and* no fallopian tubes now. My current partner and I never used them.
This might be shocking for monogamous folks. So spare me your comments if you’re one.
I’m polyamorous and my partners and I do STI tests every 12 weeks. But with my fiancée we used condoms only on our first date. One of my two girlfriends we used condoms for the first 6 months or so. And my other girlfriend and I never used condoms.
The key here is that we all always have recent STI tests, we require the same of everyone else we sleep with and my partners are either on birth control or we are trying to get pregnant.
In multiple relationships, we quit the second or third time we slept together. The first few times were mainly to avoid STIs, as they were already on the pill. I didn’t bring up the idea… we just started having sex, I said to give me a second to put one on, she said don’t worry about it, and the rest is history.
Note that everyone I’ve been in a relationship with has been pro-choice and were not interested in having children, so that was the least of our concerns.
when i thought we could raise kids together and was thinking about marriage.
bit of a shame she turned into a completely different person after the kid came around, but hey me and him are doing fine.