I have been very confused about something lately with my husband. He is a workaholic and really wants to make a lot of money. He just got a job that pays very well and he picked up another side job that also pays very well. He is a doctor so what I can make in a year – he can easily make it in like 2 months.
I bought a car that i barely use because i have a travel job, so he uses it all the time. I asked for financial help but he refused and reminded me that with me salary I shouldn’t have gotten that car if I couldn’t afford it. He won’t even help me pay the insurance. We previously lived in an apartment during his fellowship, he was paying for rent and I took care of groceries and car expenses so I didn’t mind it.
After he got a job, he is currently living at my moms house with no expenses and I asked for financial help and he told me “no I am going to use my money on stocks, you have to figure your expenses as an adult”. He is planning to buy a big house and will make most of the payments, so I guess I shouldn’t ask him to help me right now.
I am also pregnant and have a full time travel job. I am constantly tired from being on the plane all the time. My dad just passed away in a tragic accident. I have a lot of pressure to take care of my mom, my brother and sister and I just feel like my husband is in his world trying to make money. He bought a land in India as an investment and when I asked will my name be on it too- he said there is no way because I am a US citizen and he will give that land to his mom and sister. He constantly sends money for his cousin’s wedding or something and when I ask he says “what I do with my family is none of your business”. He doesn’t share any of his bank details or anything financially with me. We have separate bank accounts.
I haven’t told my family or friends about any of this. He will get very angry if I share any of this with anyone. I have just been frustrated every day.
He also works so much and picks up so many side shifts that he never comes to any of my pregnancy appointments. He doesn’t care to spend quality time with me. There are many times when we get in arguments- he constantly calls me stupid. I have asked him many times not to do that because it really affects my self confidence but he won’t stop.
I went through depression during my first trimester and when I asked for his support he said- just go to temple, think positive, stop overthinking.
He doesn’t give any birthday, Valentine’s Day or wedding Anniversary gifts unless I beg for it. I feel so frustrated and alone. How should I handle this?