I feel like I'm dead inside. I (F 37) have been together with my husband for 16 years and we've been married for 6. We have one son, 2 yo. I use to have a very dynamic career that I have changed 6 years ago when I moved to a smaller city. My work is boring and I don't feel seen or appreciated enough. I often feel very lonely since I work from home. I have tried co-working spaces but it didn't really work out. My son's needs occupy 90% of my after-work life. My husband and I barely communicate anymore. I feel like he despise me. He is not happy with who I've become after childbirth. I'm overweight, anxious and often nervous. I feel like no-one cares about how I feel. When I try to talk to my family members they only ask about my son and ignore my needs. I have few friends but they don't live in the same city as me. I often fantasies about my husband leaving. I feel like I would be finally happy if he would leave us for another women. I have even scatched the new house layout once he moves out. I can't file for divorce since he would be furious and he will try to get a full custody. He is a lawyer, knows people in a very corrupted system. I would just want to be left alone. I don't want to talk about my son or my parenting choices. I want to talk to another adult over a glass of wine about interesting things. I want to finally have sex. And I want to have sex with someone who actually likes me. It's been a while (3 years almost) since that happened for the last time. I feel like drowning. What should I do? What can I do?