My husband and I are separated. We’ve been together for 14 years, we don’t have kids. We got together since we were teens, we were once best friends and really close. These past few years he’s been emotionally abusive, nothing I did was ever enough. Everything that didn’t go his was my fault it felt like I was working on egg shells everyday. When I spoke up he’d say I’m playing the victim. I got so stressed started having panic attacks, I couldn’t take it anymore, I asked if we could do marriage counseling literally begged he said that we didn’t need it and it’s a waste of money. So after years of begging and staying, I picked up packed my stuff and got my own apartment (which I can barely afford) it’s been the first month living alone and I’m crying every single day.
The only thing we didn’t fight about and did pretty well was have sex, kind of embarrassed to admit that we’re still having sex every day either he comes to my apartment or I go where we shared. The sex is way more intense now and I kind of feel stupid for enjoying it. This evening after sex he mentioned that maybe we should just work it out, so I asked if he was willing to see a marriage counselor and he said we can work on our own issues. Thing is, I already know how this will play out. We have had those conversations so many times and nothing changes. I just feel stuck it’s like my brain and my body are speaking two different languages.