I am 40 and a grown woman and feel like I am in a pantomine of a marriage. It's just stupid and I made a mistake.
I am in Australia and my husband is in the UK. Long story short he has been running around like a head less chicken regarding his cancer diagnosis. He was diagnosed 1 .5 years ago and had me and him running between 2 countries and different surgeons. He just needed an operation and now there is tumour growth he still just needs an operation.
i moved to Australia to get on with life and build finances for me because he drained me dry. He moved back to his home country to try alternative methods with his mum – despite being told by an intergrative clinic after 3 months of treatment the only way to have his tumour gone is via a resection.
Anyway, i just want to move on and date marry someone in the future have a home and do normal stuff. Someone who i can share life with.
In short i see no future for him on his current path.
he wants to come to Australia ' to seek an operation' even though he has turned the NHS free healthcare down 3 times and turned down private and free surgery in his home country Romania.
he believes that with me nagging him he will go through with it but claims that he can't go back to the nhs.
He is currently working long days in the uk to get money to come to Australia after quitting his job and realising he can't live on nothing in the romanian countryside.
All he does is complain about how lazy his sister is who lives in the family home with her children and husband and their mother. He has become very bitter about her.
He is not a man in my eyes. He is a child. He takes no responsibility for his actions. He is not a forward planner. He lacks reflective skills and can't make decisions that involve us both. He has made poor choices for no reason and refused all counselling and just chats shit constantly about how chemo is bad and every dies from cancer.
i don't want to hear it.
We have been together since 2019 and married last year. No anniversary because we was not speaking. He believes that i should feel guilty for coming to Australia.
i don't.
i was left in the uk to pay the bills on our house whilst he sat in his mothers house doing nothing useful.
i spent $30k aud on visas medicals etc for both of us .
He did not contribute a penny. In our relationship he refused to save anything.He just created debt and then learned the error of his ways.
If i settle and find a sensible man we could have 35 years together.
I feel like my husband is just running. All his family are tired of his arguments. He has realised his decisions were shit ones.
He has no home. no money. family members have stopped speaking with him on his side of the family. So he wants to save and fly across the world to moan to me.
i have been very faithful. I always tell any man that approaches me that i am married.
What should i do?