Hi everyone,
About a year ago, my sister (37F) moved into the condo right next to mine (35F). I practically begged her to take it because I thought it would be great for both of us to live side-by-side. She was hesitant because she has a large dog and worried about losing her yard. To make it easier, she offered to pay to fence in both of our patios so the dog could use the space, and I agreed.
Here’s the issue: her dog uses my side of the patio almost exclusively as his bathroom. He pees on my fence, poops mostly on my side, and because she’s busy with a new full-time job, the poop often sits for days. She also keeps a trash can outside between our patios for the waste, but it smells too. I can’t open my windows or patio door without the stink, and I can’t sit outside without feeling like I’m in a dog toilet.
I did try talking to her about this. I asked if she could pick up more often or encourage the dog to use her side more, but she said it wasn’t possible. Finally, I blocked off my patio so the dog only has access to hers. She’s furious. She feels like I pulled the rug out from under her—she paid for the fencing, I promised she could use my side, and she says she wouldn’t have moved here otherwise.
I understand why she’s upset, but I never expected my entire patio to become her dog’s bathroom. I thought it would just be an extra play space, not a full-time toilet. Now she’s resentful, and I’m worried this is going to wreck our relationship.
TLDR: TL;DR: I begged my sister to move into the condo next to me. She paid to fence in both patios for her large dog, and I agreed to let him use mine too. But he uses my side almost exclusively as a bathroom, the smell is awful, and she doesn’t keep up with cleaning. I blocked my patio off, and now she’s furious because I broke my promise and she spent money on the fence. How do I hold this boundary without ruining our relationship?