I’ve noticed in my past relationships I get really excited, I’m so happy, but after a couple months it’s like I end up getting the ick and I end up losing feelings, I’m scared if that happens when I’m married, one example when I got an ick from a past relationship, when we would fall asleep on the phone he would randomly call my name repeatedly to wake me up just to hear my voice and go back to sleep, that used to annoy me because I have work and I really do cherish my sleep, it just gave me the ick or when we watch a movie together he would nottt stop talking thru out the whole movie, please if anyone has advice because I feel like I’ve gone thru the ick stage a lot and my friends that are married said they got the ick from their husbands when they were pregnant, I just want to really know, people that have been married for a long time, if these feelings are normal and what do you do to help?


9 comments

  1. Ick? Yes

    Annoyed? Yes

    Humans are flawed

    If you can’t deal with peoples flaws….dont deal with them in a relationship

    You are flawed too….and annoy and give people the ick as well

  3. I think when it’s the right person you won’t have that. My ex husband gave me the ick constantly and I married him anyways. Also in reading your post it reminded me of some of my adhd tendencies. There are things that bother me or frustrate me easily if I’m overwhelmed or tired.

    Currently my soon to be husband has never given me the ick . He has annoyed the crap out of me and I him. But I absolutely adore him. And the love deepens all the time.

  4. Annoyed? Yes.

    Ick? Based on my understanding of this term…no. 

    I have gotten what I feel is ick-adjacent when my depression, anxiety, and sensory problems are in overdrive. But that’s a ME thing 

  6. Married over 20 years here. Yes there are times where I wish I lived alone. But those times are few and far between because I’d rather be with my husband and have someone to have a life and adventures with. Currently we sleep in two different rooms because I move around a lot when I’m sleeping and my husband is a light sleeper. It can be challenging for two people to live together long term.

    If these are things that really bother you, it’s good to sit down and have a calm discussion with your partner. Me and my husband have done that and it helps to know where the other person is coming from. We still have our blowups, but typically the anger or irritation doesn’t fester for very long.

    I’ve never had the ick for my husband. He’s who he is, has changed for the better over the years. Annoyed…many times. But that’s just because we are two different people and came from two different backgrounds and families. But our differences compliment each other.

  7. Yes I’ve been annoyed by my husband. I truly despite the phrase “the ick”. We’re humans and sometimes other humans aren’t perfect. If my husband is doing something that’s bothering me I either ask him kindly to stop, or if he’s being completely normal and I’m just getting annoyed anyway I’ll go do my own thing and leave him alone. Just talk to your partner. 

  8. Of course people can annoy each other, but I can’t imagine getting to the “ick” in several different relationships after just a couple of months …

    It sounds like you may be incredibly easy to annoy with very specific and strict ideas of what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.

    It also sounds like maybe you failed to express yourself in the examples that you gave. Why didn’t you speak up right away when that person would wake you up so it’s not a continuous issue forever ? Why even stay on the phone at all if your sleep is so important ?

    It seems like you did it to yourself a bit.

    Did you actually like these people ?

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