i used to think intimacy was just something that “happens” if you’re hot enough or liked enough. like… it would click into place automatically. but i started realizing last year (after a situationship imploded in slow motion lol) that i actually had no idea how to feel safe or even present in sexual moments. everything felt kind of performative, like i was following choreography without knowing why.
i still don’t feel like i know everything, but now when i have sex (or even just flirt), it feels like me showing up, not some version of me i thought would be more desirable. that shift has meant everything.