Seems like a simple enough question, right? As with all things, context is important.

TL;DR: Met a store clerk and had a conversation relevant to my upcoming vacation. Had an extremely profound experience while there partaking in an activity she suggested to me. Returned home. Going to give her a souvenir relevant to her suggested activity. Feeling a little high on emotions because of the situation that unfolded while on vacation and with her on my mind which prompted me buying the souvenir for her. Want to ask girl out, but I'm trying not to let my emotions get ahead of me, and giving that the only location I know her is at her job, I don't want her to feel like I'm backing her into a corner, and I don't want to embarrass her or put her in a weird position. I'm rusty and probably greatly overthinking this.

Why do I need advice?

I need advice because I'm not afraid of rejection, but I am concerned about making them feel backed into a corner, and I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. This is the only thing I don't wanna bugger up because I'd feel horrible.

Backstory

A little over a month ago, I went clothes shopping in a rather large mall to prepare for a month long trip to Japan.

Went to one store and went to check out. I can't recall how the convo started, but the topic of me going to Japan came up and how all these new clothes were for that. She mentioned pretty excitedly that she recently came back from a vacation there as well, literally a month prior. So we talked about it for a few minutes while she was helping me setup the app for their brand. I ended up asking of all the things she visited, what the number one thing she loved visiting was – Meiji-Jingu Shrine.

Fun convo. Cute girl. Made me more excited to go. Didn't think much of the interaction beyond that point.

Go to Japan. End up getting COVID for the first 2 weeks of my planned 4 weeks there. Rough.

Sad. Depressed. Regretful. Etc.

Anyway, while I didn't have many plans or a big itinerary, the few things I did wanna do were kinda dashed. Coming out of my funk, she popped into my head again. So, the first thing I did when I felt better was go to Meiji-Jingu Shrine. It was a rough day, but the shrine was gorgeous. I'm not spiritual or religious or anything, but something there felt truly touching. This doesn't sound relevant, but it serves as a lot of the fuel for the end of this backstory. Point being after 2 weeks of having my dream vacation mullered and being sad an upset, this trip to shrine was really reinvigorating and it brought me an unbelievable amount of peace (again, consider the mindset of a potentially ruined dream vacation).

Once I completed the walk to the Shrine, I said my prayers, thanked the Gods for restoring my health and looking over me (yes, actually – I have no idea where this came from in me) and began to leave. I ran into a shop they were running near the shrine that sold charms. I stood there for, no bullshit, 40 minutes thinking of the charm I wanted to buy. I could've bought one of every charm if I wanted to, but I spent so long because I didn't want to just walk away with any charm. The Shrine walk so far had been uplifting already, and I wanted to take home something that felt meaningful.

I ended up buying a charm for 'Peace of Mind' – I bought two; one for me, one for the girl.

Fast forward a week. End up heading home a week early out of anxiety of getting sick again and fear of getting blocked at Interpol and causing potential issues with my job. Sucks to go home early, but I feel content with that decision now that I'm back home.

A few days after I got back home, I went to that clothing store just to scout to see if she was there at all. Didn't ask around for her or anything. Wanted to just try and spark up a conversation thanking her for the suggestion. Not there that day.

Went the next day. She's there. She didn't recognize me at first, but I approached her with a question for some clothing that I was actually looking at, and then asked her if she was the one that suggested Meiji Shrine. She said yes, and then remembered me. We had a little conversation after that. About 5 minutes before she had to get back to work. But I'd say the convo went well. I told her I got her something from the Shrine and thanked her for the suggestion. Told her I got her a souvenir – unfortunately I forgot it that day. She ended up telling me that she couldn't buy one when she was at the Shrine because she didn't have money at the time she went, so she seemed excited to be getting one.

Asked her name. Gave her mine. Asked if she worked Mondays because that was the day (8/18) I was there (didn't wanna just outright ask what days she worked – I'm still a stranger to her afterall). Told her I'll see her next week and give her the souvenir. Ended the convo with big smiles and a nice goodbye.

Current Mindset

Elephant in the room – I'm in a pretty big mental fog right now because the vacation opened my eyes to a lot of things. I won't go into it, but the impetus for my vacation was to determine if it's somewhere I could live. Removing all the context of this story, this trip was exceptionally important – thus my earlier emphasis on the sadness when I got sick.

Anyway, acknowledging that my feelings are a little flubbery right now because of the trip and that it probably has some influence on how I'm feeling, I'm also thinking about her a lot. I can't explain it, nor do I want to make this post longer than it already is, so I'll say this: the emotional rollercoaster of going to my dream location, being confined to my hotel for the first 2 weeks and falling into a bit of a depression, coming out and choosing to tackle her suggestion as my first itinerary item, it being absurdly profound, me being incredibly grateful for the experience, and ultimately buying a souvenir for her as a simple gesture of gratitude ending up being something that she wasn't able to purchase herself and then seeing her excitement to potentially receive it… I'm a little emotionally wrapped up right now.

What do?

I'm going back to that store in 4 days with the originally expressed intent to give her her souvenir and hopefully have another good conversation… but I think I'd like to ask her out, but I don't know if it's a good idea because I don't know how to without making it awkward for her.

  1. I don't want her to be in a situation where she may feel compelled to an answer after receiving a gift. That would be horrible.

  2. If I weren't to ask her on this upcoming visit, I don't know how I can approach her again because I'd literally be going to a store to thumb around and look for her if that were the case. That feels creepy.

  3. Finally, given that it's at her job and in a a packed mall, I'd hate to have her feel like she's caught in a spotlight or – as I said earlier – feel backed into a corner.

To reiterate, I'm not concerned about rejection. If that were to happen, then so be it. I just don't want her uncomfortable. :c

It's been about 4 years since I asked someone out, so I'm probably really rusty and grossly overthinking this, but I can't help it. I'm generally far more concerned for the comfort of the other person than myself, so If you guys think the situation would be bad, I'd rather not ask her at all.


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