I’ve recently started topping my gf (we are both trans in the opposite directions), and I’m struggling with my harness – I think it’s the spareparts joque. It’s fitted correctly and I haven’t had major issues with it with afab folks, so I’m assuming it’s a combo of limited experiences topping someone anally and… something else?
The strap will not stay in place regardless of size (although it is definitely worse with a small one), which not only causes some uncomfortable chafing and pinching for me, but makes it difficult/painful to do the thing especially if it suddenly slips out. I’m not sure if there’s maybe a different harness that would be more snug and work better. I know some of what’s out there but would love to hear personal experiences from people in similar situations.