I am so miserable. I’m trying so hard to enjoy my life as it is right now but I hate it. I just got married about 4 months ago and moved 3 hours away from my family to move in with my husband and his kids. My child and I have never lived away from my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, who all live in basically the same place (not house, just place).
At first it wasn’t too bad, I enjoyed having my own space and new things to go do. However, it quickly went to me being more depressed than ever (I have depression) and I am so miserable and I hate this place. My husband and I have already had a few fights about him not including me in things he decides to do, leaving me to be a babysitter with all of the kids while he gets to do whatever he’d like because he just assumed I would be “chill” about it, and other things. I love my husband, but I’m starting to feel like he married me to clean and watch his kids and plan my life for me.
We are supposed to move somewhere in about 6 months for his job (not sure of where, we have options but nothing concrete). And every place is so far away from all of my family, I hate it. I tried to pick somewhere sort of close to them and he doesn’t like those places, or the places I like he’s not as big of a fan so I don’t really think he’s considering them.
I just miss my people. I’m so lonely here, and I don’t want to go back necessarily to live with them, but I want to be close to them. I want to go out on Saturday’s again, and have family dinners on Sunday, and be able to ride to Target with my sister, and have my child be in a school that knows her and loves her, and go to football games, and be able to invite them over whenever.
I love my husband, but I am so miserable and I don’t think he understands how bad it is. He knows I’m struggling but I don’t think he quite gets it. I don’t know what I want from this, maybe advice, maybe just a listening ear? I don’t know. I just don’t know.