Going to try and keep this simple. We've been together for 4 years now. We moved in together at the start of this year – 2 year lease. We barely talk outside of the usual work talk/family drama. We haven't been initmate since we moved in and a good bit before we moved. (I thought moving would help this but no)
I feel unwanted and alone. I truly don't even know if she is attracted to me or not. (When I broke down I specifically asked her if she was or not – didn't get an answer she just didn't acknowledge the question.) I'm not even the most horny guy in the world but it's been a year and a half since anything and it's making feel like I'm disgusting or something is wrong with me (I recently got into the gym because of this – down 18 pounds so yay for that I guess)
She gave me reasons on the no intimacy and I understand where she is coming from:
1. She doesn't like the way she looks (I get it, but I really do think she is beautiful) I've tried getting her in the gym with me (she's tried twice, both times giving up a week in. Doesn't respond to motivation)
2. She said she needs to go to OB-GYN (Totally understandable.) But she still hasn't made an appointment to go, she first brought up going months ago.
3. Her dog (I absolutely despise this dog and I used to be a dog person) We cannot physically touch without her dog jumping on us or nipping at me. I tried getting her to take it to a trainer, trainer refused after seeing just how bad the nerves are. She also doesn't discipline the dog after doing something bad.
4. She said her drive is lower (I get it but it's been like a year and half since anything) I don't know what to do about this reason. Not sure if I even could do anything.
This was all said a couple weeks ago. She maybe has started kissing me an extra 3 or 4 times a week. Has come up from the once before bed but it's just not enough. (Is this bad of me to think?) It's as if the conversation never even happened. Plus she still keeps talking about buying a house as if everything is fine(not doing until things change, if they ever do) It's as if she doesn't even see me anymore.
I talked to my mom about all of this and she mentioned her probably being depressed which I can understand. I already feel like such a fucking douchebag asking for intimacy. I don't want her to start doing stuff like that just because I want her to.