I’m 27F, new to dating (started Hinge last year, only a couple dates + hookup before).
Earlier this year, a therapist told me I show signs of BPD. I sought help after a messy, on-and-off involvement with a 28M from Hinge. He said he didn’t want to date me but stayed in my life for nearly a year. I got really attached, and letting go was much harder than I expected.
Therapy helped me understand my intense emotions, fear of abandonment, and the unhealthy ways I acted out (angry texts, calls to his work, even messaging his sister after he asked for no contact).
He could be supportive, but also made comments that set me off, which left me spiraling.
"Did it really happen? Did we really talk that much? Which girl—is that good for your mental health? You want to fight me? That’s funny. Are you going to argue with the waiter like in that story you told me? Is it good that I’m visiting you? There are so many new women at my job.” He’d laugh periodically as he said these things.
A month after no contact (He made me agree to block him), I still want to fight with him again.
TL;DR Now I’m wondering: should I try Hinge again, or take more time to heal first?