I like to pride myself in being a good communicator, and I'm generally pretty direct in showing interest and try to avoid too much beating around the bush. I've found my dating experience in the last few years to be super frustrating.
My last serious girlfriend didn't even break up with me directly. We dated for a year, and she just got so distant and started talking about space, and when I asked if she wanted to break up she said she wasn't sure. The process lasted like a month and was so painful. She just straight up couldn't give me the bad news, and even after we broke up would continue to reach out to try to reminisce with me/use me for validation. She'd tell me that she still saw a future with me, but the timing wasn't right, etc etc.
The next woman I was kind of involved with agreed to go out, and then just kept putting it off after a few weeks. I just figured she wasn't interested. It was only after I texted her to help a mutual friend out with something that she told me she had met someone else. Fair enough, I appreciated the honesty but I feel like I wouldn't have gotten it unless there had been that contact. We ended up going on a few dates about 8 months later, and she got super distant after a few very enthusiastic weeks. I finally straight up just told her I'd sensed a shift in tone, and didn't want to over-pursue her if things had changed, and she told me that she still had baggage from her ex, and had to break it off.
The current woman I'm pursuing agreed to go out, seemed excited to give me her number, and told me she couldn't hang out that weekend, but that we should touch base when she got her schedule the next week. She's been engaging and seeking me out when I've seen her in person since. I still haven't heard from her, and I don't know if it's just my past experiences talking but it's starting to feel like I probably won't.
I don't want to get jaded over this stuff, but I'm genuinely just looking to connect with someone and it feels like across every phase of relationships I've encountered people who are afraid to communicate directly.
I've come across situations where it's obvious that a woman isn't interested and is just being polite, and it's generally pretty easy to read; I understand that women sometimes have bad experiences with men that don't take rejection well, but this kind of feels like I'm just being kept around as an option rather than being given an implicit "no". Particularly since I sometimes end up dating these women later on.
It might just be that I'm too sensitive, but I've put a lot of work into myself and my life over the last couple years, and while I'm still a work in progress, it'd be nice to have someone to share some of my time and experiences with. It just feels like every time this kind of thing happens the cumulative effect of trying to figure out what's happening takes it out of me enough that I'm not up for trying again for a little bit. I love connecting with people so it feels like giving up isn't an option, but man is it tough to wade through all the uncertainty.
Anyone else have similar experiences?
P.S. I'm a heterosexual man, and I date women: I've had issues in the past where people have been upset that I'm knocking their gender. I just haven't dated men so I can't speak to it, from what I hear we're no picnic.