My fiancé has always been one that loves eating out and treated to a nice meal at a restaurant every now and then. She states that it is one of her love languages. I enjoy eating out as well, but before I met my fiancé I rarely spent money at restaurants since it’s a lot more expensive and I like saving money as well as eating healthier by cooking my own meals. To me it’s more of a thing for celebrations and special occasions. When I had been in past relationships a lot of times we’d split the cost of meals or take turns on paying when we ate out.
After meeting my fiancé I started breaking out of this pattern and eating out more since she likes it. I might be ok with a dinner date once a week if we split the cost, but she expects that I pay for them and isn’t ok with paying for her meal. She doesn’t ask for expensive meals, but does like something decent ($40-$80) usually for our dinner. I make a good salary, but we are both short on cash at the moment due to me having a large mortgage (which I’m trying to get out of) and some debts of hers. I’d rather do a mix of an occasional dinner date like once or twice a month and do other activities for dates. She’s not up for doing dinner dates at home in place of restaurant dinners either.
I’ve begun budgeting pretty hard recently and set a goal to cook nearly all of my meals from the grocery and budget many other costs. I have financial goals that I want to reach and I need to stick with them. She insists that I should still take her out to eat once a week despite the costs it would add each month. She wants to feel like a lady and wants me to “not let the romance die.” I’ve offered to maybe do one or two dinner dates at a restaurant a month as long as the price is reasonable and for us to cook the rest or do some type of other date activity besides eating out. Trying to find a balance between being too cheap and sticking to a budget. Am I being too cheap and should just take her out at least weekly?
TLDR; my (31m) fiancé (29f) wants to be taken out to a restaurant at least once a week for a date. Am I being too unreasonable that I don’t want to pay for 4 dinner dates a month?