Edit: Okay, I didn't literally mean that concerts and travel aren't hobbies. I just mean that those two examples aren't exactly something I can just up-and-take-action on if you just skip the details on what you exactly do or like (examples: do you travel for new foods?, photographs?, experience new cultures?| which genre?, local bands at bars?, etc.)

Yes, these details can be ironed out over the course of several conversations but, as far as trying to line up a first few dates, it's annoying lol (for me!*)

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I'm (32M) kinda tired of organizing and carrying every conversation/plan. You gotta have SOMETHING you like to do on your off time other than waiting for me to decide what's next.

Heck, I hate board games but I'd be so down to just have a board game night with someone who's actually enthusiastic about it. Like, not to trash it but "concerts" and "travel" are not *really* hobbies; those are just insulated little events that you attend when they're available.

Let's go rock climbing, play pool, or have an art night—something!

Blegh, rant over lol


14 comments

  2. I love board games and bowling. And reading. I have many hobbies that I know I would like if I had people to do them with. I know how you feel 😅.

  4. Although I don’t mention travel anywhere in my profile, it’s for sure a hobby. In my case it goes hand-in-hand with my love for languages (fluent in four, learning a fifth), nature, history and architecture.

    I think there are two camps. People who have tons of hobbies and people who have none.

  6. i like to play video games and lay in bed. i love going out and watching someone enjoy themself. my only real hobbies is camping on occasion and driving my atv when it gets fixed.

  7. I hear you… although I think it’s more accurate to say “have more hobbies than just live music and travel”. And be specific about what you enjoy doing while traveling. Is it culinary adventure, snorkeling, museums, ancient ruins… like what do you actually want to do when you land in a foreign country?

    I’m also perturbed by the number of people whose entire personality seems to be hot yoga and crossfit. I admire self-care and having personal fitness goals, but please have more depth and things to talk about than your workout routine.

  9. I’d love to have the time for hobbies. There comes a point when your life is so consumed with just trying to survive and take care of those that need you that you don’t have the luxury of even figuring out what you enjoy anymore. Maybe it’s a middle aged, working single parent thing.

  10. I’m there with you, I need someone who isn’t one dimensional. You gotta have more to life than “I go to work, pay bills, go to sleep, repeat”

  11. I don’t have hobbies but I can carry on a conversation and make plans to hangout. I mean, I have a podcast which maybe is a hobby but that’s not something that I’d do with someone I’m dating. I exercise a lot but that’s also not something I want to do on a date.

    I want to shoot the shit, watch tv, laugh and makeout. Maybe making out with hotties is my hobby.

  12. Into my 30s and it never ceases to amaze me how many women I’ve gone out with that don’t have hobbies or interests or anything they’re all that passionate about. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or expensive either, just something!

    I also agree that concerts and travel are not hobbies.

  14. I don’t have hobbies because of childhood abuse; anything I liked was used mercilessly as a weapon against me. Now anything I somewhat enjoy I keep highly guarded so no one else can ruin it for me. And I definitely don’t do them with other people.

    But that’s why I don’t date anymore.

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