My wife of 1 year has been unemployed going on 3 months now. The strain it is putting on our finances is unbearable, not to mention our relationship. 3 months go she was fired for poor attendance at her excellent full time job, and this is not the first job that has let her go for the same reason. We cannot afford to live on just my income, and we have been sinking further into debt every month. We can’t afford food. We can’t afford gas for her car. I had to borrow money from family to keep us from being evicted. We have been planning to move in October to downsize and save money but now my credit is so shot from missing and late payments I’m terrified we won’t get approved for a new apartment.
No matter what I say or how I try to encourage her, nothing changes. She is putting in what I consider minimal effort to try and find new employment. When I bring up that she needs to be putting more time and effort into her search, she gets upset with me. She always has time to spend with her friends, sleep in and stay out late, and watch TV. She also still buys things for herself, while I’m going without new shoes I badly need.
If she put effort into other areas of our home, I could bear it. But I am not exaggerating to say I do everything. She doesn’t cook, she isn’t cleaning or taking care of the house. I’m up at 5 every day for the gym, I come home to walk and feed the dogs, feed the cat and scoop her litterbox. I make the dinners, clean the dishes, and take out the trash. The bedroom is dead too, of course. I come home to her most days sitting on the couch. Dogs haven’t been out, pile of dirty clothes on her side of the bed untouched (we each do our own laundry mainly because I’m picky about it).
This is not the woman I fell in love with. The woman I married was a hard worker, a hustler and a go-getter. If she wanted something she went and figured out how to get it. She was strong, resilient and could fight through anything.
I’m so close to breaking I don’t even know what to do. Reddit, any suggestions?