I’m 20 and had a miscarriage in early January of this year. I’m on birth control and we used condoms every time. It belonged to a guy that I had been in a deep situationship with and had wanted to get serious with but he didn’t. The miscarriage was my final straw and I stopped seeing him after. I never told him about it even though I should have I knew it wouldn’t have changed anything. I wouldn’t have kept the baby and would have most likely gotten an abortion anyways but I have a lot of mixed/ unresolved feelings about the whole situation still.
My main concern is how the lack of intimacy has been for my mental health. Masturbating isn’t enough. I know it sounds dumb but everytime I get into an encounter where I could have sex I get nervous. The pain from the miscarriage was horrible and I was alone. I never want it to happen again. I went from sex 1-3x a week to nothing for about 9 months now. I just feel so alone in my situation. Does anyone have advice on what I can do?