Relationship background: Together for 13 years, married 5y, with a 4y and 2y.
Needless to say, having children really demolished my body. Then, when I finally weaned my youngest I broke my leg and was non-weight bearing for three months.
I’m finally (mostly) healed and I want to take better care of my body. I’m slightly overweight, and husband is too. I decided to get a gym membership and go every other day in the mornings. Usually, husband takes the kids in the mornings anyways to give me (SAHM) time to get ready for the day.
So he doesn’t need to take any extra time off work. He works from home too and I give him a solid 45min before his work day starts.
But he’s been making a ton of comments lately, and making it difficult for me to leave for the gym. When I’m about to walk out the door he says things like, “oh, mama’s leaving you!” In a joking tone so my youngest will start screaming and crying. So I get guilt from hearing that as I leave.
Then, he said, “I hope you get tired of going to the gym so I don’t have to start working out too.”
And he keeps “forgetting” to tell me that he “needs” to work earlier than usual which makes me cut my workout short.
I talked with him about this behavior, but he denies any ill intention. He said it comes from a place of his own insecurities, and I’m sure it does, but it’s really bothering me. Also, it makes me think about how I’ll feel when I’m in better shape and he continues to do nothing about his own health. I’ve offered taking the kids so he can workout but he says it’s not his thing.
I love him immensely. He’s truly a great father and partner most of the time. I always said I married the best man I know and I stand by that. However, I don’t know how to navigate a shift in lifestyles. I want our kids to see and adopt healthy habits. I want our family to be physically well.
Does anyone else have contradictory health habits with their spouse? How do you navigate?