I (26M) have developed feelings for someone in my small friend group (23F, let’s call her Delilah), and I’m trying to figure out if she might feel the same without blowing up what we have.

Typical hangouts are the just the four of us: me, my best friend (Marshall), his now wife (Robin), and her best friend (Delilah). I don’t have a huge friend group outside of this, so preserving the friendship is so important, especially because Delilah is really the coolest, kindest person I’ve ever met. Even if she didn’t like me back, I know she’d still want to stay friends.

BUT I also worry that if I said something and it got weird, the dynamic could shift, maybe Robin and Marshall would hang out with me less (or almost not at all) to keep things easier for Delilah, just because the energy changed. That’s the part that’s kept me cautious.

So WHY I’m confused: Delilah’s signals aren’t super obvious; again she is super kind. Sometimes it feels like she might like me, like she gives me compliments on my looks or other nice things and will always agree with Robin (who is also vey kind and gives me compliments OFTEN) when she compliments me (like recently, Robin commented on me gaining muscle, and Delilah agreed). One example, is Delilah told me, totally out of the blue, “I never noticed before, but you have really nice teeth.” Stuff like that. (I also have a food allergy and Delilah consistently cares about if there is something I can eat.)

But she’s also just a friendly, confident, super non-awkward person in general. So it’s hard to tell what’s “just Delilah being nice” vs something more. Also, again small amount of friends so I might just be deprived of female attention and making the most out of nothing haha.

We’ve never hung out just the two of us, and I’ve been trying to think of ways to get a little one-on-one time without making it a thing.

Overall, what are your thoughts on:

  • Is there a subtle way to find out if she has feelings for me?

  • Is it possible to make it clear that I like her, without risking the entire group dynamic?

  • Any tips on creating a little space for a one-on-one convo or test the waters?

I know this is all a bit specific, but I’m hoping someone out there has been in a similar spot. I would love any thoughts or advice. Thank you. Please let me know if any further information is helpful.

 

 


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