Hi all, I am not new to Reddit as this is my throw away account. I need advice on the situation at hand in my marriage. Husband 27M and I 28F have been together for 10 years, married for 5. We have a 3yr old and a 3 month old for reference.
Husband has always been focused on work and enjoyed drinking. When we first got married before kids he would stop if I told him it felt uncomfortable for me. Back story is I have a parent who is a substance addict/alcoholic. He was always willing to stop and a few times when it felt like it was getting to be a bit much and I said so he did stop. He was very involved when our toddler was born and it felt like we were a team. Fast forward to having our three month old everything is different. He is drinking beer and mixed drinks every single night. He has no patience for the baby, as they have colic and GERD and can be quite exhausting and frustrating in the evenings. I am exclusively pumping for the baby and he has made me feel like a burden multiple times for doing it, and has asked me “how long do you plan on keeping that up for?”. He is great with our toddler and is overall a good parent. When I try to communicate my frustration and tell him I need help at night which he hasn’t done a single time with this baby, or tell him I need a break he says nothing. He just stares at me and looks at his phone. My Mom has been in the hospital since 6/30 and he hasn’t been very supportive with that either. We’ve lost all intimacy and since I was cleared to have sex after baby we’ve done it twice and I initiated both times. He does have stress from his career but I feel like I deserve better. I do all the grocery shopping, bottle washing, and most chores he will pick up on the weekends. I just feel like I am married to someone who doesn’t even like me anymore and isn’t in love with me. He doesn’t ever wanna help, questions every choice I make, and makes me feel small. I can’t tell you the last time he got me flowers or told me he was proud of me. Is this worth saving? Am I crazy? Please help. Thank you for reading I know it’s long.