Every man I talk to just wants to be pen pals. I’ve never experienced this until recently after not dating for a year. It’s so frustrating like what’s the point of that. I don’t want to text non stop. The point is to date not be texting buddies. I could even offer sex to these men and still don’t want it. It’s so strange. What is happening?
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It’s definitely not you, this seems to be a widespread dating app issue right now. the people who actually want to date not just text, will appreciate your directness about wanting to meet up 🙂
I’ve had people ghost after suggesting a date! What you’re on the app just to talk? I don’t get it. Some people say go for the date as soon as possible but I’ve found the succesful sweetspot to be around 2 weeks of chatting, which is *a lot*. If I suggest earlier they ghost. And maybe some people like the idea of maybe dating but when faced with the reality of actually going on a date they flinch.
I can offer two suggestions:
A) If you’re frustrated, take a break. Shift your focus internally. Recharge your batteries. Come back to the dating arena when you are ready.
or B) Take a deep dive into your dating habits to see what’s going on. There’s not enough detail in this post to give you any sort of accurate diagnosis on what’s happening in your dating life. This sort of thing can be most efficiently worked on with a coach instead of trying to go at it yourself.
Either way, good luck on your next move!
To be fair, there’s many reasons why men in general extend the chatting phase. These days, we’re absolutely exhausted with planning dates and wasting money. Especially with this rise in women using men as free food and entertainment with no intention of actually moving anything forward. A lot of men feel that women need to earn those moments and most women get bored too easily. The dating realm needs some pretty massive changes on both ends of the spectrum. Not gonna happen in our lifetime.
I mean. I’m a guy. I only get to 1-3 dates most of the time. A lot of the time can’t get to 2nd date.
Honestly, do it. Yes misery loves company but in this case, they are the origin and the sinkhole. Focus on you, get yourself a vibrator, send more time with your friends and family. Get a few hobbies and you’d be surprised how fulfilled you’ll be without a man. In fact, object permeance will start to kick in.
Tbh it’s not your fault and if you think you need a break then you should definitely take it
They’re afraid to express romantic interest and take the initiative because we’ve been that’s “toxic masculinity” for most of our lives.
lots of immature/confused/insecure people on both sides nowadays
You’re not meeting people irl… and complaining that you’re only communicating via electronic pixels.
Please. Can’t give up when you haven’t started.
Where are you finding these men? Most men will want to have sex
If they talk endlessly and never ask you out, then you be the one to ask them out. That’s what I do with women who want to be penpals. If they say no or don’t give a clear answer, then I tell them to let me know when they would like to go out and leave it at that.