This is stupid, I acknowledge this. Yes I am in therapy. I am venting to the internet because I feel foolish telling even my friends this.
I’m 40/F, I guess what most people would consider quite attractive. My husband of 10 years does a good job of making me feel attractive, too.
But something bothers me and always has. I know he’ll never look at me with the same awe that he does flawless movie stars like Margot Robbie or Gal Gadot. He once described Gal Gadot as “ridiculous,” (in a good way), something he’s obviously never said about me (like I said, I’m attractive but not insanely gorgeous). He’s remarked off-hand about Margot Robbie’s face being “a masterpiece.” It doesn’t matter how pretty he tells me I am. These kinds of things kill me because I know I’ll never be that to him. I don’t even like him to watch movies with them because I know he’ll be gazing at how gorgeous they are (or other perfect movie stars), meanwhile I’m over here with my red, tired eyes and weak chin.
It’s just a crappy feeling. I know some are going to say that I’m so much more than a pretty face to him, and blah blah, but that kind of stuff isn’t reassuring to me. I just hate that part of being married I guess. If you made it this far, thanks for reading, I appreciate you.