Hi,
The topic of marriage came up recently between my and my boyfriend. I said that if I get married I will not change my name. He said he will not get married unless the woman changes her name.
My logic is that my name is my identity. I've always had my name and I'm not prepared to change that. I'm perfectly happy to be married and have different names. We don't want children so that will never be a problem.
His logic is that it's traditional. Marriage is about being a family and unity and having one name. If he can't have a traditional marriage he doesn't want one.
I came back saying he can take me name. But he says it's the woman who should take the man's name. (I think this is just old fashioned and sexist). I'm also not prepared to double barrel my name. I can understand he might feel a little put off by my decision but not enough to say he'd never marry me.
Obviously we aren't in a place right now to be thinking about marriage anyway but I'm sure in the future it will become a problem. If we never agree we just won't ever get married which isn't the end of the world, I just want to know if other people have been in this situation and how you went about it.
I am 26F, my boyfriend is 34M. We have been together a little over two years.
TL:DR. I won't change my name, my boyfriend won't marry someone if they don't. Who else has been in this situation?