I’m feeling pretty bad right now and just need to vent I guess.
I dated someone for 4-5 months. She did some strange things during this time. After dating for only 6 weeks we were out to dinner and she was acting really strange, just kind of staring off into space and not talking. I tried to ask what was going on and she reassured me everything was fine. Then after a few minutes she just stood up, packed her food into her bag and walked away. Like got up from dinner and just left without saying anything. It was super weird and confusing. She had been doing some strange stuff already but that was very weird and unexpected. I was hurt but didn’t try to reach out to her for an explanation, I decided that something was going on with her and it wasn’t worth any more effort from me.
I randomly saw her out at a park a few weeks later. I got close enough that she could see it was me, but I didn’t approach to say anything, I just looked at her to force eye contact. She walked over to me and started apologizing about dinner and said she “freaked out” because we were getting really close in that first 1-2 months and it scared her so she ran off. I thought that was really immature and ridiculous, but I told her I wasn’t mad. I also told her if she wanted to hook up some more we could and not have to worry about dating.
So we start hooking up. Once or twice a week for another 2 months. Over this time I was dating other women and just living my life like normal and just viewed her a fwb. Then she texted that she missed me. She said she wanted more and a few days later asked me to exclusively date her, claiming that the sex had made her feel really close to me and she was worried I might find someone else and leave her. I was torn because obviously she had done some sketchy shit already, but there’s a lot I liked about her. We have common values and hobbies and always have fun together. I figured why not, I’ll give her another chance.
So for the next 2-3 months we are dating, having fun, vibing, getting really close. She even introduced me as her boyfriend and I referred to her as my girlfriend once! Well, then shit went down again.
We were at a concert and had some meaningless fight. During the show she was all over me, we were having fun, kissing, dancing. Then the show ended and i reached out to pull her in for a hug. When i did that she flinched and pulled away. It was so unexpected because of how close we had been all day, I didn’t really understand what was happening, so i went for the hug again, and she pulled away again. Then she turned around and walked up to some random man, held his hand and walked out the gate with him.
I was sooo confused. And a little hurt. I walked out to where our bikes were and started getting ready to go. She comes up and says “youre not mad about that are you?”. I said i don’t really know what im feeling but that was super weird. We unlocked our bikes in silence for a moment the she says, “you’re being really weird and i think you should leave. Id rather be alone, you should just go home”.
So i rode home by myself. We exchanged a few texts that night. I just said I didn’t want to see her on Thursday (we had plans). And she sent me a barrage of drunk break up texts. That was a week ago and I haven’t heard a word from her since then.
Long story. Anyway, im sad about it.
Tldr- avoidant woman asks for relationship then bails at the first disagreement.