don’t know if this is the right sub
M18
today I reflected on my social life, how i used to get bullied as a freshmen in HS. How i only have two friends i talk to now that i’ve graduated
I’ve always been the ass of the joke, i remember being in class senior year and we had to give ice breakers to our partners.
midway convo I said my favorite food was chicken and 4 girls in front of me just heard me say it because i said it a lil too loud and they started laughing hard.
instant confidence death
But today i broke.
I finally got a job where people are very social, it’s a job at a shoe store. I remember telling my coworker that “Hi i’m leaving” but i guess i kinda said it too condescending and too loud.
this girl started laughing at me, making a joke about how i said it. I don’t know if you guys know the meme audio on tiktok where the women is like “Nope i’m leaving, wherever the wind takes me”
She was joking about that because of me, i left a bit faster after that because they all started laughing at the joke. But I had to come back a minute later to drop off a walkie i accidentally took and she was still cracking jokes and everyone was just eating it up.
It was at the back of my head and it instantly gave me flashbacks to my senior year.
I realized it was time to give up, i was done. i’ve been trying to fit in for four year and it’s never worked. I could atleast make some friends but all for what, they hardly even talk to me i spend my days mostly alone just waiting for something interesting to happen.
All i do is go to the gym work home. i had chances to get into a relationship 3 times because i was too much of a loser, i had no confidence and i was too uninteresting and boring.
I give up, i am going to spend the rest of my life lonely without socializing most likely