Hi everyone,
I’ll be leaving the UK soon, and I just wanted to share my feelings here. I first came here as a student, and later I worked for two years. Now, because I’ve resigned from my job due to some reasons, and don’t have any offer so I’ll be returning to China.
To be honest, I feel heartbroken. I’ve been crying almost every day recently. The UK has become a big part of my life, and it’s so hard to let go. Everything feels overwhelming and a bit hopeless right now.
I keep telling myself that I should spend my final days here trying to be happy, enjoying the beautiful things around me, recording memories, experiencing as much as I can, but most of the time I still feel sad. I don’t want to say goodbye to this country and friends in here, I had so many beautiful memories in the UK. Now whenever I walk on the streets, looking around the city, the buildings, I feel like everything is fading away from my life and probably it’s the last time I see them.
I told myself to be positive, set a long term goal and come back but no matter what I think, I still feel sad at the moment.
I guess I just wanted to write this down and If anyone has been through something similar, how did you cope with it? Any advice for making the most of these last few days would mean a lot.
Thank you ❤️
40 comments
This nice to hear, most people seem to hate the UK and that’s just those who were born here. Hopefully you’ll get something sorted but if not then fingers crossed you’ll be back one day.
Come back when you can OP 🙂 it’s so hard leaving somewhere and people you love.
Is there no hope of finding another role?
Hi There
Sorry to read this, are you leaving at will ? Or it has something to do with work visa issues ?
From what I know it’s getting difficult for students to secure a work visa … but keep on trying within your network.
Don’t be sad mate, china number 1.
Hi , I think what you are experiencing is not uncommon . I’ve had friends who , after living in the UK for years , returned home by choice and they still experience depression and everything you are feeling . I think there is no cure apart from time.
It’s fine to feel sad; you’re facing a big life change and re-evaluating what your future looks like. There’s always going to be a grieving process associated with that. But use the sadness to help focus yourself for the future; what do you need to get done in order to return, or to find the things you love about the UK elsewhere?
As a Chinese living in uk for 8 years, I don’t know how to comfort you. I can’t say how much I love uk, but it is a normal country. I would love to do anything to stay in a normal country rather than going back to that shitty China under Xi’s rule. Just try to move out to another normal country. I’d feel happy to live in a Southeast Asian country if I were not able to immigrate to a western country.
There’s a whole world out there to explore. Many more adventures to have. Make it happen, make it your quest in life. Now you have a purpose. Purpose is key to everything else. God speed and thank you for reminding me to appreciate my home land. Its so true, you dont know,it’s good thing till it’s gone.
Just as a bit of a positivity, nothing is stopping you from continuing the search for a job which provides a skilled worker visa from China. You have UK work experience under your belt already which will likely prove to be rather useful in that respect.
Don’t give up on moving back to the UK. It only takes one job offer with visa sponsorship to allow you to move back here. Perseverance is ultimately key. I wish you the best of luck.
The sad reality of moving abroad is that you will always miss something. Either you miss your home country, or, if you move home, you miss the place you came to know and love.
The UK is always there, and if you make it a mission to come back, I believe you will manage it, even in years to come!
What’s your profession mate? 🙂 I know a few Chinese companies over here that are hiring
Make sure that you say a real goodbye to all your friends and favourite places, and allow yourself to grieve.
Once your grief is over and you can function again, make a new plan! If you want to come back so very badly, there’ll be a way.
Good luck!
Recommend getting up stupidly early, get out the door at 5 am (or earlier) and just go walk around. Breathe in the morning air. Listen to the birds chirping away and enjoy the peace and quiet of wherever you are at. Go touch some walls of old buildings. See the sun rise. Walk around and find somewhere to treat yourself to a tea/coffee/breakfast. Take a few pics and just take it all in before the world starts up.
I read and replied every comment, and I THANK U! You guys give me faith and confidence, most importantly, the support and warmth! I won’t delete this post ever. And may be a few years later I would comment “ hey guys I got an offer and I’m coming back to the Uk!” And I would check out this post and all your warm and friendly comments again and again when I’m sad or down in China, I think it would give me strength to keep going. Thank u a million! I really really appreciate it! See? That’s why I don’t want to say goodbye, you can always get kindness easily from people when you need it! And if you’re in the UK or any place that you love, please please make everyday count, make the most out of it, cherish it with your heart and be grateful! I wish u well from the bottom of my heart! Keep healthy and happy!! (If any of you guys want to learn Chinese we can be language exchange friends because once i get back to China I would have few chances to speak English, I don’t want my English to be rusty which is definitely a disadvantage when it comes to apply uk jobs)
I’m the opposite to you in that I am a UK national who lived in China for many years.
When I first came back I missed China and my friends and the life I had every day, but over time I came to realise that my home country had its own positives too. I had some times when I was really down, but eventually I realised the biggest thing that impacts whether you have a positive or negative experience when you go home is your mindset. Look for the good around you instead of allowing yourself to only think about what’s bad now and was good before.
Also, I know you’re probably nervous about China’s work culture, but who’s to say you have to work there? You can apply for jobs in other countries and the UK too even from China.
加油！
Is Hong Kong a possibility? Not the same but I guess it’s much more cosmopolitan.
I’m in a similar position.
I’m from the UK and have lived in Taiwan for 10+ years. I’m starting to think about returning to the UK but I’m so sad about potentially leaving Taiwan.
Find a queue to stand politely in (while tutting) and then stuff yourself silly with crumpets.
I really just spent 10 minutes on your post imagining what it would be like to literally swap apartments with you (me in your place in China, you in mine in London). I do get carried away sometimes, lol.
I was in the same boat in 2015. I came to the UK, studied there, and then went back to my country. I arrived at a time when there was no PSW. After 5 years, I got a sponsorship job from my home country and came back to Scotland, UK, where I studied and completed my Master’s. There will be opportunities coming in the future, but no one can guess the exact timing.
Hi! I understand you. I’m Russian, it was my big dream to live abroad and become a scientist. I fought tooth and nail to get into a masters course here in the UK. I successfully graduated last November… and nothing. I’ve been applying to PhDs first, now to any industry job basically but I’ve only had a handful of interviews and got rejected after all of them. Two hundred applications at least. I used to think my acceptance into one of the top unis in the UK actually meant something but now I realize they probably just wanted my parents’ money because the overseas fees are gigantic. I’m crushed, my self-esteem is out the window now. I’ve spent the past 6 months working minimum wage just to survive while I’m still looking but it’s seasonal work and my contract ends in November. If I don’t find anything in two more months, I’ll be going back home to Russia and I’m already trying to make peace with the idea because I don’t believe in miracles. I vastly overestimated my own talents, I suppose.
I just want to send you a virtual hug, it’s incredibly painful. People that weren’t born and raised in proper authoritarian countries will never understand. I know I can live quite comfortably back home and I’ll find a job much faster…. but that’s not the point. I will forever miss how open and lively London is, how easier it is to breathe here. I’m queer and neurodivergent and life here feels so different. I love my friends and family, I miss my culture but I don’t want to go back. It’s the feeling of failure compounded with the crushing reality of your homeland.
This too, shall pass. Remember that none of this was wasted time and be grateful for the experiences you’ve got. Better shoot your shot and then grieve, instead of never trying in the first place. I wish you well in everything!
Enjoy reasonably priced beer and cigarettes
Just out of curiosity, what is it in the UK you like that you can’t find in China?
It doesn’t need to be forever, a good friend of mine had to return to India, then the UAE (ethnically Indian but some of his family live in the UAE) after his graduate visa expired. He had been here for 3 years of Uni and then 2.5 (I think?) thereafter, he was heartbroken. Three or four months later he had landed a work visa and was back.
I know the trials and tribulations as my wife is a Filipina and navigating the cost, complexity and stress of just visitor, fiance and spouse visas is hell, never mind sponsored visas by an employer, which can be taken away again at any time. Goodbye isn’t necessarily goodbye forever, you can always take the necessary steps to come back, it’s just difficult, time consuming and stressful.
Good luck mate.
I’m so sorry, it’s important to grieve and feel what you’re feeling. It’s also so important to remember the good reasons you enjoy the UK – are there any favourite spots you could get photos of and snacks you could buy to take with you? Any posters from bars you like or festivals you’ve been to, brands of tea you love! Maybe a Google map of the places you’ve made into your bubble, or a scrapbook of flyers and photos. Playlists of songs that take you to times and places while you’ve been there. Like you’re making a time capsule for your future self to remember all the good bits.
And it’s not forever, this is just your next step for now ☀️
Is your stay dependent on your job giving you a visa , is.thst what you mean?
Funny. I left the UK a few years ago and never felt happier. Mind you I was born and raised there so don’t have a comparison…
Come back when you can and we look forward to welcoming you back. As another commenter said, don’t give up, apply for a visa to come work in the U.K. again. You following the rules and returning home will
demonstrate to U.K. employers in the future that you followed the rules and respected U.K. law. So many people don’t.
Best of luck on your journey! I hope you can come back and make more beautiful memories in the future.
Oh well I guess, China is nice too
I know it can be difficult to get a visa in the UK. If you have no luck there maybe try Ireland? They seem a bit more keen to offer visas for skilled workers and the culture and lifestyle isn’t too much different from the UK. Plus if you stay five years here you can get citizenship and then you could live in the UK freely as an Irish citizen due to the common travel area.
Your making this post is helping me deal with my fear of going back. I wish I could meet you before you leave. 💐
I had the same feelings when I left another country to return to the UK. You’re right to set a goal to come back. It doesn’t have to be forever!
You can always come back if you want.
Hi, I am sorry to hear that.
I will likely be quitting my job as well. Can I ask how long it took for HMRC to send you the curtailment letter from the time you officially resigned?
Can you implement anything of your current London life into your new life in China to remind you of your life here?
Cup of tea with breakfast every morning? Cycle to work? Pub with friends after work on Thursdays? Even a roast dinner on Sundays?!
I’m so sorry that someone who loves us so much is having to leave!
Lol, I’m British Chinese and can’t wait to move to China and escape the UK. It’s way way worse over here, worsening crime, rising cost of living, no accountability when it comes to the populace, it’s dirty, smelly. People will throw rubbish everywhere. Passive aggressive racist comments under the guise of “jokes.” Nimbyism and the complete apathy to change things and improve people’s quality of life. No, thank you.
Seeing how China has completely turned around and lifted 800+m people out of poverty has solidified our decision to leave. For years, this population has been fed so much Sinophobic, anti-Chinese content, and this post plays right into that sentiment. (Lol, BBC translations do not match what is actually being said by other global leaders).
You’re not doing yourself or any Chinese any favours by denigrating your home country. Plus, this has definitely attracted comments from people I highly doubt are Chinese into attacking China. I get you’re going to miss the UK. But feeding the self-hatred of some Chinese and racists isn’t going to magically make you likeable. It’s pretty shameful.
I am English born but lived most of my life in Hong Kong. I was heartbroken when I left and came back to England. If HK was like it was before mainland China took over I would go back in a heartbeat. UK’s roads are not paved with gold.
I had to leave Australia after my work sponsored application got pulled after 9/11.
I was pretty bereft. I had no plans to ever come back to the UK. I missed nothing apart from decent bacon.
I spent some time travelling around to buffer the shock of returning straight back. Which I think genuinely helped me. It felt like an extended holiday and created a somewhat altered reality of the situation.
What I will say though. The following months of adjusting back to British life, I found there was more I’d missed without missing it. The first spring and seeing the lush green landscape bouncing back to life. The endless days of summer. History everywhere.
Nearly 25 years later, I’m still here. Not been to Australia since. With the state of this place now though, I feel like I’d take a lot of different countries over the UK.