Woman tells you: “I’m glad I met you at this point of my life, in my middle 30s. Given the kind of men I was into back when i was younger, we would have been only friends”. How do you see it?
August 18, 2025
Woman tells you: “I’m glad I met you at this point of my life, in my middle 30s. Given the kind of men I was into back when i was younger, we would have been only friends”. How do you see it?
34 comments
What’s to see? That’s just how life goes sometimes.
We change as people and the type of person we’re attracted to may also evolve over time. There were things that were deal-breakers for me when I was 20 that I didn’t care about at 30, and vice versa.
She’s matured and the things she looks for in a relationship have changed, I don’t think that’s either good or bad… Just normal.
My wife also told me once that before becoming a single mom she ended up with very toxic men and that we wouldn’t have worked out if she was at that stage of her life, becoming a mom made her mature and choose better men.
Me personally I see it as a sign to run. Run like the wind.
“Well aren’t you a unique individual.”
As someone who’s acknowledging that they’re not the same person they were however long ago. Are you trying to turn that into a reason to break up with somebody?
I think it means that she is toxic, however, now believes she was toxic.
I see it as a ragebait hypothetical.
Yeah a man hears that he has to run for the hills because he is being settled for. For me that would be a turnoff because i want to be the one she desires alot no matter the age. Theres also no reason to tell a man that because it is disrespectful no matter how she puts it.
the risk: if she is settling because her old type hurt her, you might only be the “safe choice” and not someone she really wants. this can cause problems later.
the opportunity: if she has truly changed and now likes men like you, then she is just being honest.
the question you must ask: is she with you because she truly desires you, or because she is making a compromise?
That’s what’s commonly referred to as a backhanded compliment.
I’d think it to be an unnecessary comment.
I get the sentiment and applaud her for her growth (I myself can’t honestly say that the type I’m looking for now, has always been the one that caught my eye).
But it does have a bit of the same energy as saying her ex was too big, and I’m just right.
Sometimes, using fewer words is appreciated.
I would see it as the same question that was asked about a week ago?
I know some might not like this but…
She’s telling you everything you need to know to make a decision, she’s been a hoe and with guys that probably didn’t take her seriously but were a lot of fun.
You are more stable but maybe a bit boring, she don’t mind it since she wants something more serious.
Take it as you want, if you’re fine with it – stay with her. If you aren’t, leave.
I wouldn’t stay personally, I’ve been in this situation before and it’s not a nice feeling. Make me feel like a second choice.
Gives similar vibes to saying to a woman “I used to only date hot girls, but now I care more about personality.”
“I’ve been thoroughly run through, but now I want your money, so I’m willing to settle, but will resent you for it”
Red flag. To me it says the guys she was into when she was younger didn’t see her as good enough to settle down with, and now she is willing to settle for someone shes not into as much that can provide stability because she clock is ticking. But most likely she will get bored later and throw it all away in 5-10 years and cashout.
In my experience this is as clear as she will tell you “You are definitely not my first choice.”. And then you decide whether that is who you want to be for your partner.
She has been ran through.
Wow, I mean to save everyone time. She might as well say: “ I’m glad you are still single because I’m finally ready to SETTLE”
🤣 FFS. 🤦🏽♂️
They think it’s a compliment but it’s not and it feeds into the insecurities a lot of guys who struggled with dating in their younger years would have.
I see it as self-aware to know she used to have terrible taste in men, and she has learned from her mistakes.
As much as I wish I had met my wife earlier in life, if we had, we probably wouldn’t have connected. It was the shared failures of our previous relationships that made us realize we were right for each other.
Basically telling you, you’re not her type, but she’s willing to settle for stability
She’s probably saying “I was an idiot and passed up too many good men”, and you’re probably hearing “I couldn’t get commitment from any of the guys I’m attracted to, so I’m settling for you”.
It could go either way, so take the compliment and move past it. People say stuff all the time without thinking.
“I don’t find you physically hot but I like your other qualities. Also I’ve lowered my standards to something more realistic.”
That she has matured, and sees you as an equally mature partner
People change and learn as they get older. Things happen in life that make you look at your younger self critically.
If men would do this it would be called negging and rightfully condemned
She used to fuck fuckboys.
She’s telling me I’m the safe nice guy choice and that she is not sexually attracted to me. She’s telling me she wants to use me for my resources.
Sounds to me like “I am older now.1 So, I have learned to lower my standards for a man like you.”
She thinks it’s a compliment, but it comes across as an insult.
Yikes. Do people not know how to talk to each other anymore?
It would depend on the work she’s done on herself in her thirties.
– how long has she been single
– does her life habits seem different than what she describes in her twenties (how often does she go out now vs before, did she use drugs and doesn’t now, how often does she drink vs before, does she have a job/apartment/pets/kids)
– is she in therapy
– is she close with family/friends now
And you can always ask her directly what does she mean by that statement and ask her to describe how she has changed and ask her what she values in you
People genuinely can change and grow and people can genuinely trick themselves into thinking they’ve changed and grown. That’s a very vulnerable statement to make and if it’s legit it means she feels safe and secure with you but it’s also some shit someone can just say.
It depends on what she means by that. It could mean that she was stupidly into shitty guys when she was younger and now she realizes what a good guy looks like. Or maybe not.
You might have to, you know, talk to her and understand where she’s coming from instead of quizzing complete strangers about a context-less quote. Or you riled up some people just like you intended. Either way, carry on.
34 comments
What’s to see? That’s just how life goes sometimes.
We change as people and the type of person we’re attracted to may also evolve over time. There were things that were deal-breakers for me when I was 20 that I didn’t care about at 30, and vice versa.
She’s matured and the things she looks for in a relationship have changed, I don’t think that’s either good or bad… Just normal.
My wife also told me once that before becoming a single mom she ended up with very toxic men and that we wouldn’t have worked out if she was at that stage of her life, becoming a mom made her mature and choose better men.
Me personally I see it as a sign to run. Run like the wind.
“Well aren’t you a unique individual.”
As someone who’s acknowledging that they’re not the same person they were however long ago. Are you trying to turn that into a reason to break up with somebody?
I think it means that she is toxic, however, now believes she was toxic.
I see it as a ragebait hypothetical.
Yeah a man hears that he has to run for the hills because he is being settled for. For me that would be a turnoff because i want to be the one she desires alot no matter the age. Theres also no reason to tell a man that because it is disrespectful no matter how she puts it.
the risk: if she is settling because her old type hurt her, you might only be the “safe choice” and not someone she really wants. this can cause problems later.
the opportunity: if she has truly changed and now likes men like you, then she is just being honest.
the question you must ask: is she with you because she truly desires you, or because she is making a compromise?
That’s what’s commonly referred to as a backhanded compliment.
I’d think it to be an unnecessary comment.
I get the sentiment and applaud her for her growth (I myself can’t honestly say that the type I’m looking for now, has always been the one that caught my eye).
But it does have a bit of the same energy as saying her ex was too big, and I’m just right.
Sometimes, using fewer words is appreciated.
I would see it as the same question that was asked about a week ago?
I know some might not like this but…
She’s telling you everything you need to know to make a decision, she’s been a hoe and with guys that probably didn’t take her seriously but were a lot of fun.
You are more stable but maybe a bit boring, she don’t mind it since she wants something more serious.
Take it as you want, if you’re fine with it – stay with her. If you aren’t, leave.
I wouldn’t stay personally, I’ve been in this situation before and it’s not a nice feeling. Make me feel like a second choice.
Gives similar vibes to saying to a woman “I used to only date hot girls, but now I care more about personality.”
“I’ve been thoroughly run through, but now I want your money, so I’m willing to settle, but will resent you for it”
Red flag. To me it says the guys she was into when she was younger didn’t see her as good enough to settle down with, and now she is willing to settle for someone shes not into as much that can provide stability because she clock is ticking. But most likely she will get bored later and throw it all away in 5-10 years and cashout.
In my experience this is as clear as she will tell you “You are definitely not my first choice.”. And then you decide whether that is who you want to be for your partner.
She has been ran through.
Wow, I mean to save everyone time. She might as well say: “ I’m glad you are still single because I’m finally ready to SETTLE”
🤣 FFS. 🤦🏽♂️
They think it’s a compliment but it’s not and it feeds into the insecurities a lot of guys who struggled with dating in their younger years would have.
I see it as self-aware to know she used to have terrible taste in men, and she has learned from her mistakes.
As much as I wish I had met my wife earlier in life, if we had, we probably wouldn’t have connected. It was the shared failures of our previous relationships that made us realize we were right for each other.
Basically telling you, you’re not her type, but she’s willing to settle for stability
She’s probably saying “I was an idiot and passed up too many good men”, and you’re probably hearing “I couldn’t get commitment from any of the guys I’m attracted to, so I’m settling for you”.
It could go either way, so take the compliment and move past it. People say stuff all the time without thinking.
“I don’t find you physically hot but I like your other qualities. Also I’ve lowered my standards to something more realistic.”
That she has matured, and sees you as an equally mature partner
People change and learn as they get older. Things happen in life that make you look at your younger self critically.
If men would do this it would be called negging and rightfully condemned
She used to fuck fuckboys.
She’s telling me I’m the safe nice guy choice and that she is not sexually attracted to me. She’s telling me she wants to use me for my resources.
Sounds to me like “I am older now.1 So, I have learned to lower my standards for a man like you.”
She thinks it’s a compliment, but it comes across as an insult.
Yikes. Do people not know how to talk to each other anymore?
It would depend on the work she’s done on herself in her thirties.
– how long has she been single
– does her life habits seem different than what she describes in her twenties (how often does she go out now vs before, did she use drugs and doesn’t now, how often does she drink vs before, does she have a job/apartment/pets/kids)
– is she in therapy
– is she close with family/friends now
And you can always ask her directly what does she mean by that statement and ask her to describe how she has changed and ask her what she values in you
People genuinely can change and grow and people can genuinely trick themselves into thinking they’ve changed and grown. That’s a very vulnerable statement to make and if it’s legit it means she feels safe and secure with you but it’s also some shit someone can just say.
It depends on what she means by that. It could mean that she was stupidly into shitty guys when she was younger and now she realizes what a good guy looks like. Or maybe not.
You might have to, you know, talk to her and understand where she’s coming from instead of quizzing complete strangers about a context-less quote. Or you riled up some people just like you intended. Either way, carry on.