My (f20) boyfriend (m19) has never ejaculated before

6 comments

1. This sounds like a classic case of ask a doctor to me, especially if it causes him pain. It could very well be related to the surgery he had as a child, and especially in that case, only a medical professional will know how to help.

2. Hi there /u/flightlessclique

   To keep nefarious behaviour at bay, we are saving the contents of your post here
   so that it can always be retrieved by the moderator team after a post has been
   edited or deleted by the posting user.

   Post title: My (f20) boyfriend (m19) has never ejaculated before

   ***

   Hey everyone! I was wondering if anyone could help me out with my situation. My (f20) boyfriend (m19) has never ejaculated, like ever. He doesn’t masterbate, he doesn’t even watch porn or anything (i’m glad about that though). We’ve recently been sexual and like, he can’t finish at all. If he tries to finish himself on his own time he cant. He can’t from sex, blow jobs, or hand jobs. I have no idea what to do. I’ve been patient and have been very understanding because i understand he’s embarrassed. But im a bit perplexed and don’t know what to do. We do foreplay, we use lube, i’ve tried different kinds, i’ve even tried ED pills from walmart. He said he got some kind of ball cancer surgery when he was super young so he only has 1. But i’m not sure if that is why it’s like this or not. Also, he does precum, but very little. And he gets such bad blue balls from it he can barely move. I’ve tried massaging the area which helps but he’ll still be in pain. Sometimes if im going down on him or doing a handjob he’ll ask me to stop because it starts to hurt. And then he’ll ask me to resume when his dick isn’t hurting as bad. I have NO CLUE. What to do or how to help him.

   I made him a warm bath tonight with Epsom salt and some other soap to help with relaxation and massaged him around there for like 30 minutes during the bath. I’ve given the massage many times and it always feels insanely tense everywhere down there, like it feels like it would hurt. That ended up helping him feel better some but he was still in pain some. The same issues occurred after that though.

   Anyone have any sort of advice??? he said he feels super close sometimes and then it’ll just start hurting and goes away. Also he gets hard really easily and is usually turned on when i’m with him, but he does have trouble staying erect sometimes. And if i move for like a second to reposition or something he will usually go soft

   ***

   *AutoSaver v1.0*

   *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*

3. He needs to see a urologist.

4. Could be a prostate issue.

5. He needs to go see a medical professional asap

6. This definitely is time to talk to a physician. I’m a bit extra sometimes about helping people to feel ok staying home, but this time, he needs to talk to someone.

   It may have nothing to do with his childhood surgery, it may have everything to do with it.

   It’s simply not normal for a male body to not ejaculate. Sort of like breathing, penises when they are healthy get erections at times and ejaculate at times. If the person with the penis doesn’t attend to it whilst awake, it will do it while asleep. If that’s not happening, something is abnormal.

   Now, abnormal can be fine. Many people are different and ok with that, but this doesn’t sound like that. He seems to have sexual desire and erection and pleasure with you, just not orgasm or ejaculation.

   So here’s the script. He needs to schedule an appointment. Some insurances will require he see the primary care first to get a referral, some allow self referral, with the surgical history this is going to end up with a Urologist. Y’all don’t have to tell the front desk what it’s about, you can say what you like, “sexual health concerns” is accurate and bland.

   Once he’s in the exam room, tell him to be as incredibly exact and detailed as possible. Do not waste fourteen of your twenty minutes saying um, ah, no big deal. If you write it out first that helps. Then stare at the corner of the room and say in one pressured sentence *I had some kind of testicular surgery when I was an infant, don’t know what, I can get hard and feel some pleasure now but I’ve never orgasmed or ejaculated, not even alone or overnight, peeing works fine, there’s been no more recent trauma and no concern of infection but I want to be sexually healthy and experience orgasm what do I do next*.

   Bonus points if you can bring the medical records from the childhood surgery.