Today my bf (23M) of 4 years and I (23F) had a planned activity that was booked a week before. A day before it I asked if he was still okay with the activity, and he said yes. I asked if the time was still okay or if he wanted to push it for later and he said it was fine.
Today, we wake up, and he tells me he doesn't want to go because he didn't sleep well as he had to work late. I said he doesn't have to go, but I am going anyway because it is too late to cancel, and he will then need to send me half of the cost that will be lost because of him.
He ended up going but was a bit grumpy for the first 20ish minutes of the activity, which is not a big deal. I was in a good mood and was cheerful. But I felt a bit lonely in my happiness because of his mood.
After the activity, we went out for food, and he was mostly quiet, I was def the one talking and trying to lighten the mood. Then he got a message on his phone and it was something about his independent work project. I asked how that one was going, and he barked at me, saying, "I don't want to talk about it." I was like "okay, we don't have to talk about it" but it stung me a bit.
Then later in the day, he took a nap, woke up and sat in the living room with me. He then said that he wants me to be nice and loving to him, and that he didn't feel it today. He said he felt lonely.
I said, "of course I can be more loving, it's just I didn't really like how he spoke to me earlier and what mood he has been in".
He said, "I went to the activity for you even though I didn't want to, and I have so much on my plate that it stressed me out". He pretty much told me that me trying to bring up my negative feelings is not nice and I am trying to make a big deal of nothing.
Anyways, he left the room irritated and upset at me,
To be fair, he does have a lot of things to do, but it is because he picked them up voluntarily. I also don't think it's right to shut down my feelings even if it isn't something very significant.
TL;DR: bf of 4 years said me bringing up his rude tone is me trying to make myself the center of attention, even while he is overworked and tired. What do I do?