Hi everyone, I’m a 26M, and I’m really struggling with intense sexual fantasies that are clashing with my values and threatening my five-year relationship with my girlfriend (24F). I used to be strictly monogamous and even felt jealous and protective of her, which showed how much I valued our bond. But recently, I’ve developed fantasies about group sex scenarios, triggered by watching certain types of porn and engaging with related online communities. These thoughts feel obsessive, like I’m chasing a dopamine rush, and I feel guilty, like I’m betraying her and myself.
We’ve talked openly, and she’s made it clear she’s not okay with anything outside monogamy, which I respect. The urges are strong, though, especially after connecting with people online who offered to make the fantasy real. I know acting on this would be cheating and could destroy our relationship, so I haven’t and don’t want to. I just want to get rid of these desires or at least manage them so they don’t control me.
I’ve started cutting back on porn and avoiding triggering online spaces, but it’s tough. Has anyone else dealt with unwanted fantasies from porn or social media that mess with your relationship?
TL;DR : 26M in a 5-year monogamous relationship with 24F, struggling with obsessive group sex fantasies from porn and online communities. I respect her boundaries and don’t want to cheat, but the urges are strong. Trying to cut back on triggers and want to eliminate these desires. Need advice on managing them and strengthening my relationship.